Be Still - A meditation

Read:  Psalm 46 (with focus on verse 10)
One recent Sunday evening, I pulled into our driveway after attending a study and turned my vehicle off.  The dashboard lights darkened, the engine and radio noise ceased….and I sat...alone… in the roar of deafening silence.  Usually, I would have been discussing “once we get inside” plans with kids, or having to referee a spirited discussion.  But in that moment, life was breathtakingly still.  
I can recall these moments of stillness because they are rare.  “Still” is defined:  1. devoid from motion, 2. calm, tranquil, and 3. free from noise or turbulence.  Boy.  In a busy family of five, let’s just say that we would not frequently use descriptors like “tranquil” and “free from noise or turbulence” for the atmosphere of our home.  It’s happy noise – frequently laughter-filled; and, we have the usual family bustle of commitments and activities.  What we honestly do not have a lot of, is stillness.  Even once the kids are in bed, our evenings can end up largely filled with television, and social media.  There is always something new to see, or something to share.  The world would have you believe that you need that constant social hum; but, God says otherwise.  
Psalm 46 explains that God Himself says to “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Be still.  God put those words in this passage with purpose, and I know that I need to seek this out in my life.  The psalmist describes this even in the midst of the Earth giving way, and mountains fallinginto the heart of the sea.  Surely I can muster a few moments of stillness among my own activities, and my own toppling mountains of laundry scattered on my living room floor!  
Prayer:  Father God, we love You, and see You throughout each moment of our lives, from the loud and joyful, to those of anger and heartbreak.  I pray though, that You would increase in us the desire to seek stillness, our desire to wait on You, and our desire to know You more.  I pray that you would use these quiet moments to drown out the world, and draw us closer to You.  Amen!

In My Daughter's Eyes

How often do I hear something without really listening to it?  Probably all the time.  I know I've certainly heard "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride before...I can at least hum along with the chorus...but apparently I had never really listened to it.  That is...until just now.  I was literally just blindsided by one of the most tender moments in my life thus far.  Blindsided so much so, that I came straight downstairs to jot down my thoughts.

I should back up though....set the scene.  It'd been a nice evening.  We had a great dinner...some homemade taco salad with all the trimmings including homemade guacamole!  My parents were here for dinner.  We had some after dinner "tearing up and down the hallways" rough-housing...followed by a nice little walk around the neighborhood, pulling the kids in the wagon.  My parents left....and then it was normal bed-time routines:  bath, jammies....a treat....teeth brushing....all followed by a few minutes of snuggling on the couch with both kids on my lap.  Gabe told me "I wish I could just fall asleep right here, mom...right here on your lap."  That was a sweet moment in itself. 

I scooted them off my lap, and Shawn took them down the hall and got them in bed first....I followed a couple of minutes behind, after lights were out, and they were tucked in.  I entered Lo's room first.....went over and knelt down beside her bed...and I prayed, like I always do.  And as I finished with the "Amen"...my ears tuned in to the music softly playing in the background....just as Lauren reached her little hand up and traced the side of my face with her little two-year old fingers.

I heard.....

"........I've seen the light,
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,
I can see the future,
A reflection of who I am and what will be,
And though she'll grow and someday leave,
Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone I hope you see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there,
In my daughter's eyes."

And I knelt there....breathless....soaking in those words....and gazing in to her little brown eyes....as she played with the side of my face...and I just dissolved into tears...and a love so intense that it can not be described.  I am so THANKFUL for my kids.  I will tell you right now that it is not possible to love them more than I do right now, and yet tomorrow, I know I will.

A single moment like this can just define a life...it can make everything so crystal clear...put it all into perspective.  We are gifts to each other...me to her...and her to me.  I sat there in that moment and I prayed that when people see the reflection of who I am in her eyes...that it will be that of someone who loves God and has done everything she possibly could for her children.  And I hope I can show my children every day just how happy they have made me.  I could never have enough time with them...thank you God for each day more that I have with them!!!  And....thank you God for tender moments like this evening's.....thank you tonight for my little Lo.

If you're a mom and you have not heard this song...I encourage you to go listen...and I've included the full lyrics below.  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlA

Martina McBride - In My Daughter's Eyes Lyrics

Writer(s):SLATER, JAMES T.

Artist: Martina McBride Lyrics
In my daughter's eyes,
I am a hero,
I am strong and wise,
And I know no fear,
But the truth is plain to see,
She was sent to rescue me,
I see who I want to be,
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,
Everyone is equal,
Darkness turns to light,
And the world is at peace,
This miracle god gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak,
I find reason to believe,
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,
How it puts a smile in my heart,
Everything becomes a little clearer,
I realize what life is all about,
It's hanging on when your heart is had enough,
It's giving more when you feel like giving up,
I've seen the light,
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,
I can see the future,
A reflection of who I am and what will be,
And though she'll grow and someday leave,
Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone I hope you see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there,
In my daughter's eyes



 

Motherly Love

She's Millie.  Native Kansan....a daugther to Reed and Ruth.  Sister to Cliff and Marty....and little Mikey Reed.  (Aunt Marty, I'm still sorry she made you ride that bicycle home after you'd broken your leg on that one outing.....)  She's my mom.  My kids' grandma.  Lover of scrapbooking....and cooking...and crafts....and gardening.  Lover of Dexter the Dachsund (much to my dad's chagrin).  Wife of Max.

  

She's been my teacher and nurturer from day one....my biggest fan.  She taught me about Jesus.  She instilled the fear of God in me.  She taught me what love is.  (Sometimes by demonstrating her enormous love for me in amazing ways....and other times by forcing my sisters and I to "sit and hug each other" on the couch when we weren't getting along - love conquers all.  I use this "punishment" to this day with my own kiddos.)  She taught me to eat my vegetables - I had brussel sprouts with my lunch today, Mom!  She taught me about obedience.  She showed me how to love a husband - that it's a good thing to kiss him like Davd and Renee did on "Days of our Lives".  :)

She taught me how to "Walk Like an Egyptian".  (It's true.  We have it on video if you'd like to see it.)  She taught me about saving things.....and that you can always find a way to reuse something.  This Erma Bombeck quotation is oh-so appropriate for her:  "Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box as found its way back into society.  We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."  Maybe not tooootally true....but perhaps close to the truth??!  She taught me that moms really do somehow have eyes in the backs of their heads (still don't know how she saw me making snotty faces at her all the way through the front door and living room of our old house while she was still out in the front garden.....AND, I still don't know how she moved so quickly to come flyin' through that front door to let my bottom know that she had seen them.)  She was firm.  But she was so loving.

She's taught me how to share.  She's shown me true selflessness.  She's modeled true patience (which I still can't model myself, despite my best efforts).  The fact of the matter is, I could go on all day....listing all the things my mom has taught me.....because, she's still teaching me.  She's still modeling them for us all to see.  She is amazing.

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie." ~ Tenneva Jordan

THIS is my mom.  I mean....selfless.  Either this attribute or her patience....those are my favorite things about her.  Looking back, her life since kids really was one big family-loving/errand-running/home-making/hard-working/girlscout-leading/dance class-shuffling/program-attending (you get the idea) marathon!  AND, it still is.  She still comes to our softball games.  She goes to Shawn's softball games.  She comes to my scrapbooking day at church, Meesh's work events, and Megan's half marathon.  She's still there, giving 100% of herself to us.  We are so lucky to have her; and, we don't tell her this often enough. 

And now, we throw Grandkids in the mix and she's there for every single one of their special moments!  I rave about her motherhood....yet her "grandmahood" is on a completely different level.  My children are so lucky to have a grandma that is nearby....and not only nearby, but present.  She's involved.  She's on their level.  She's interested.  She celebrates them.  She loves them.  And they love her.   

Mom.....today, on your birthday.....I celebrate you.  I cherish you.  Know that I am so thankful for each and everything that you've done for me, and everyone whose life you touch.  As a mother, it is my personal goal to try and accomplish even just parts of what all you have as my mom.  The examples you've provided, and the selfless time you've given me have meant, and always will mean so much to me. 

Most of all, Mom....thanks for the prayers.  I can't imagine where I'd be without them. I LOVE YOU!!!

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been." ~Robert Brault