I lost a dear family member to cancer over three years ago now....my mother-in-law. This is a picture of a young Tessaira with her Grammie.
This past summer, I also lost my step-mother in law to the same battle. I miss them both terribly. My heart aches that my children will not really "know" them, apart from the ways that their memories live on through us. This is a picture of Shawn's dad, Steve with Jassendra on our family trip to Disney World. It was one of her favorite places.
Just a week ago, we lost a fellow Sigma Alpha Iota sister to a battle with colon cancer....she was 24. 24! And a co-worker of mine has been battling some serious health issues that sprang up seemingly out of nowhere a few weeks ago....and he could have lost his life. We're talking one day he's at work....then he's out sick for a few days and suddenly in the hospital fighting for his life. Praise God for his continued gradual improvement, though!
Dealing with loss is hard. But, as with everything, there is usually a silver lining. One of the positives loss brings about, is reassessment of life.......of priorities.
Especially during the past few weeks, dealing with my co-worker's illness, and the completely shocking, sudden nature of it....I've been sitting back and thinking about the way life's been going for me. I've maybe been on auto-pilot.....something this co-worker strongly discourages at our office! :) We are such creatures of habit....we leave for work at the same time every day, and come home and do the same things each evening. Sure we love our families, and know that they love us. Sure, we appreciate the little things that people do for us, and know that they appreciate the things we do for them. But how often do we look for moments to grab, to savor, to turn into something spectacular. I don't want auto-pilot to be enough for my life. I want to grab all of these big moments, and little moments, and learn how to really savor them all, and really "love up" anyone whose path crosses mine.
A few of my favorite moments as of late: Wednesday, February 23rd, and waking to the sound of Gabe playing with toys in his room after his first night in his "big boy bed", and then the sound of his feet running into our room and his little proclamation of "I get out of bed, Mommy!". He was so excited and so adorable. Or last week...Valentine roses from Shawn and some simple words on a card that melted my heart. Or, conversations with family members....Gabe wanting to talk to Grandpa and Grandma to tell them he was taking a bath and using his new frog towel...or our planning of some family get-togethers. The sheer love I feel for these people is completely "disabling" in a way. It's overwhelming. And especially so, when you think of it in the context of being stripped away from you. I want to grab on to every moment while I can. :) I am so thankful for them, and these moments.
For me, this has to be a conscious choice - something that I try to keep myself aware of and thinking about. If I let it go to the back of my mind...I go back to auto-pilot. The past weeks, I've been praying to God to help make me aware of these moments that need to be seized, of the times that I need to go out of my way to encourage someone, and that I would just really appreciate all of the people in my life, and how their love and actions directly impact me.
Won't you join with me in praying that we will take time every day, hopefully many times every day, to be consciously thankful, to be openly appreciative, and to show purposeful love to everyone, in case this day is our last.
