Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tarts

I had a sweet little dose of reality today.  Literally, it was sweet.  It came in the form of a Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tart.

So, rewind a few weeks with me.  I brought T and G with me to the commissary to do a massive stock-up trip for our pantry and freezers at home.  I'd already dodged a few "Oh Mom, can we please get this?!" moments, and we were now on the breakfast foods aisle.  This is a particularly tricky aisle to navigate with kids, I've found.  They view lots of the granola bars, fruit snacks and other items as "must haves."  I plopped a box of strawberry pop tarts in the basket and proceeded down the aisle toward the fruit snacks....and from behind me I hear T exclaim "oh I love these, these are my favorite!"  I allowed myself a slight eye roll before I turned around.  The excitement was all over her face, and in her hands rested a box of Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tarts.

In my mind, there was overwhelming evidence against the practicality of buying such an item (not to mention the fact that I personally just don't really enjoy chocolate that much - I know, the blasphemy!), and I let her know this.  The excitement soon left her face.  And as I stood there explaining away that you really shouldn't eat chocolate for breakfast, and that those were indeed not very good for you, and that we didn't need three kinds of pop tarts in our home....something paused me.  Maybe it was the tone of my own voice.  I grabbed several pop tarts boxes, and I compared the nutritional information; lo and behold, the nutritional information on the boxes of the three varieties that I chose was nearly identical.  (Apparently the "fruit" in the strawberry variety isn't enough to matter, or the chocolate in the hot fudge sundae variety isn't enough to make it that bad for you.)  I ended up grabbing a box of the hot fudge sundae variety as well, and nestled it in next to the Strawberry.  We don't eat pop tarts every morning anyway - I know they're not the number one choice for a healthy breakfast, and since the varieties are similar anyway, might as well add it in to the mix of choices on the days we do have pop tarts.

If you know me at all, you probably are aware that I'm a thinker.  My mind is rarely at rest, and this instance was no exception.  I immediately started drawing parallels between this experience and others similar to it.  I was basically rushing to judgment; I was basically certain that what I thought was correct and true, when really I could have learned something if I was open to it.  Also, I don't know if I'd consider calling my treatment of Tessaira "harsh", but I wasn't really being thoughtful and gentle either.  I was pretty convinced that I knew what was best and was prepared to let her know it.  These are things that I'm aware of about myself, but not always able to snap out of when I'm doing them.  Somehow today I not only was aware, but was able to humble myself and snap out of it.

I can't help but think, that if we all were a little slower to speak, a little quicker to consider another point of view...and to listen........well, I believe that'd make this world a little better.  It made my world a little better that Saturday.  And, it made Tessaira's a little better.

Especially with all the hot topics swirling around these days.  Especially as we move full-swing into the political season.....I hope we'll all put aside what we think we already know, and take some time to listen and consider something new.  Had I not on that Saturday, I'd have no idea just how flippin' delicious hot fudge sundae pop tarts really are.  And now...back to my snack.  :)

A "ditty" about my Diddy

I'm not sure how or when we started calling Dad, "Diddy."  Maybe it had something to do with the Donkey Kong characters for the Nintendo games - you know Diddy, the wannabe nephew of Donkey Kong?  But then again, if it were up to my dad, he certainly wouldn't want to be associated with Donkey Kong (the bane of his existence when it comes to being cut off in Mario Kart racing....Donkey Kong is always to blame.)  I can't remember how, but all of my family's nicknames have evolved into others over the years and his was no exception.  It suits him - it's playful like he is.

His playful, and downright jovial demeanor is one of his best qualities - he's so friendly, in fact, that it's nearly impossible to walk into an establishment (even outside the city of Topeka, it seems) where he isn't running into someone he knows, or that remembers him from his umpiring days, or another prior activity he was involved in.  But there's far more to him than his "boy they'll let anyone in here!!" jokey nature. 

He's a highly intelligent man - have you ever challenged him in Trivial Pursuit?  Yeah, better to be the teammate than the opponent.  The man completed a degree in Chemistry, and then later returned to school and completed a degree in Accounting.  He actually enjoys doing income taxes.  I know.  The smarts always came in handy when helping with homework, though.  Goodness, I remember one particular instance....8th grade Math...Ms. Jordan....it was an extra credit problem that we worked on together.  (Stated another way, we worked on it "together" for about 20 minutes, and then he worked on it for 40 minutes only to discover something ridiculous like you had to buy another barrel of oil because the problem couldn't be worked out the way it was written - it was impossible to solve.)  Yes, many an evening of homework was made more successful with his tutelage.  

My favorite "quality" of his though, is that he's my Dad.  I know that's not really a quality, but work with me here.  It's in his role as "dad" that I believe Max Foster really shines - it brings out the best in him.

He can be impatient - perhaps this is where I inherited or learned it myself.  He's been known to lose his cool.  ;)  BUT, I would challenge anyone who tried to say they know of a better father than my dad.  My dad (together with my mom) raised a loving, tight-knit family - no easy feat.  He taught us about love....dedication...hard work....and yes, discipline too.....by talking about it, but mostly by modeling these things.  He is the head of our family.  He worked tirelessly to provide for us - sometimes as many as four jobs in a year if you included our second family job at the animal hospital, AND doing income taxes, AND umpiring.  He did this so my mom could stay home with us instead of working; it was how they wanted to raise us, and they did it.  I really can look back now and value the time we spent working together as a family - we all went to the animal hospital together, three or four times per week - so even as a child, I understood what it was to have a job, to experience it, to have to go even when you didn't feel like working.  I just grew up knowing what that was like, and I'm thankful for it.  At the time, I probably would have told you I'd have rather be playing, but now, I don't know if I would trade the lesson it taught me.

The love and discipline went hand in hand.  My dad....well, I don't know if he ruled with an iron fist...but let's just say my sisters and I all had a healthy respect for him!  We just knew that what he said was final, we didn't argue or protest (too much)....and yet we knew just how much he loved us.  He never took it too far either....although one time I thought he was going to.  The moment stands out in my mind as clearly as if it happened yesterday.  He'd had enough of Megan standing up at the dinner table, and he'd told her several times to have a seat.  So finally, he silently shoves his chair back from the table...and marches back to his bedroom.  Uh-oh.  This was at our new house, so I was at least in middle school, and at that dining room table, my seat had a view straight down the hall, so I could see what he was doing.  The light to the room flipped on, then back off, and around the corner he came, belt in hand.  He came marching back to the table...and I literally started praying for Megan.  I remember thinking "oh my gosh he's actually going to spank her with a belt??!!".  He silently entered the kitchen (meanwhile all of us were sitting there in shock - I think even my mom, but I didn't look at her because my eyes were glued on him), and then he situated Megs in her chair, then looped the belt through the rungs in the back of the chair and strapped her to it.  It quickly became a moment where I was stifling laughter, but the point was brought home.  That's how I remember my dad - he was tough, but not too tough.  He was just tough enough.

There were far more hillarious and loving moments than there ever were "oh we're in trouble" ones, anyway.  Like....the little round "hickey" he gave himself, right smack-dab in the middle of his forehead with the little suction cup rocking horse high chair tray toy.  He stuck that thing on his forehead and we just thought it was the best thing ever...until it got stuck.  I'll bet that was embarassing...I wonder how long the hickey was there?  Or the countless times (literally countless) that he called us by the wrong name.  He'd go down the list...."Meliss....Mich...Meg......OH YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, GET OUT HERE!" when he was trying to get to the one of us that needed the discipline at that moment.  He was the first-ever dad who Beverly Bernardi drug out to do a "dad dance" during the Jerry Lewis telethon...and he did it, by himself, and he was a good sport about it.  It became a thing after that for the dads to dance as a little spirit booster for the event.  :)  I remember trying out in elementary school to be one of the children in Topeka High School's production of the King and I - I could sing and I thought I had a great shot at the part and so did my music teacher.  But I got a call after the audition, that I did not get the part because I didn't look the part.  It's truly a time that I experienced just utter heartbreak in my life, and I remember just sitting and crying on my Daddy's lap...and he just held me and held me while I cried.  Again, I remember that like it was yesterday - the feelings I experienced in that moment must have been really profound for it to stick out so clearly to me.  I remember my dad, on the driveway with me...every...single...morning of seventh grade.  I was out there waiting for the bus, and while I waited, I practiced my volleyball serves.  I couldn't overhand serve the ball to save my life in 7th grade, but somehow still made the team.  I had such a drive to master that skill, and my dad was out there with me every morning before he left for work.  Every.  Morning.  I remember coming back in 8th grade, and I could serve it then, and my coach being so impressed with the improvement.

I could go on and on about these things.....he loved his music and raised us on Fleetwood Mac, and the Doors, and The Eagles, and Heart and the Rolling Stones.  He coached hundreds of softball games, got nominated as the coach of the year more times than I can remember.  And he coached the teams in a way that everyone got fair playing time, and felt like an amazing part of the team, and he still made them successful teams.  He drove thousands of miles - for a few family vacations, but more-so to visit family, to take us to volleyball games, back and forth to church...and school events.

He's always been Max....a son...a brother.  Their childhood was maybe less than ideal - divorce situations are never easy.  But ..... he came through it a strong, and loving man.  And, he and his brothers are still a hoot when you get them together these days.

Then he became a husband.  I'm sure mom could sing his praises as a husband better than I could.  :)

And now.....man...now.  Now he's Grandpa - and that has been a beautiful chapter of his life to watch unfold.  He gets almost giddy around the kids, and they love him.  I'm glad for my kids, and glad for my dad that we live so close and they can be such an integral part of each others' lives.  The bond they share is SO special!

   

All I'm really trying to say is......Thank you Dad.  You've given so much to all of us through your 61 years, and I just want to take a moment on your birthday and recognize you for the wonderful things you are, and the many things you've done for all of us who know and love you!

In closing....I'd like to leave you with a little song:

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Happy birthday!!!!!

Megs

Megan.  My baby sister.  I've known her for 29 years now.  29 years of beautiful memories - lots of laughter, movie lines, dancing, softball playing, game-playing, family-time spending.....with some occasional tears, heartache, biting, fighting and mix-ups.  (And with the biting, I'm not referring to what I did to Meesh on the day she came home from the hospital, but to little miss bitey-pants herself....Megan...the one who would follow you around chomping her teeth threateningly.  Fortunately that phase didn't last too long.)  For any of those less than pristine moments (the "bitey" and "fightey" mentioned above) there are more than enough beautiful moments to make up for them. Our childhood was the classic "we wouldn't trade a moment of it" situation.  And in a lot of ways we have the "classic" birth order roles and traits - Mel as the oldest, Meesh as the middle, and Megs as the baby.  Each of us unique, and yet somehow so closely interwoven.  It's been 29 years, and we still confide in each other about everything, and spend and enjoy probably more time together than a lot of other families do.  As I said when I wrote about Meesh on her birthday - it's an amazingly close bond that I share with these ladies that I call my sisters.

Perhaps with Megan and I, even though we are totally close now .... we didn't start out as close as Meesh and I maybe did.  Meesh and I shared the room, even the bed (for a while), were closer in age, shared some school together.  Megan and I had the four years of separation, and just maybe didn't have as much in common for the first part of our lives - the age difference of course got less and less significant as we grew up.  There's just a bigger difference in 4 and newborn....and 8 and 4 than there is between 33 and 29.  I kind-of remember "mothering" her more than I do with Meesh.....I choose to refer to it as mothering, but maybe she remembers it as bossing?  :) 

However, even with this greater age gap....that element of family, of sharing everything....that was still present.  There was no excluding in our home...and when we played, we PLAYED.  I loved the hours we spent playing house....school...barbies.....turning our Little Tikes teeter totter on its side and thus into a spaceship....or playing boat.  Man, boat was the best.  We sat on the double bed (aka, the boat) and threw EVERY last stuffed animal we had into the "ocean", which was everything surrounding the boat.  (Looking back, this would have been ideal if we could have played the game in the room with the blue shag carpet....how perfect would that have been as "ocean water"?  Oh well, we made-do with the red shag.)  And we used this crusty, yellow, plastic baseball bat to fish each animal out and nurse them back to health with our doctor's kit.  Occasionally one of the doctors would fall in too, and had to be fished out.  That was tough work.  I see elements of this kind of play, of this kind of creativity, the element of "pretend" in children these days...but it just doesn't feel quite the same as it did back then.

It was always the three of us....three peas in a pod.

Oh!  And...while I have this public audience....I'd just like to note one more point while I'm on the topic of play.  If Megan ever tries to tell you that out of our three Rainbow Brite dolls, Patty O'Green was hers...please remind her that no...hers was in fact Shy Violet.  Megan, here's a picture of the dolls to refresh your memory.  Yours. was. Shy. Violet.  :) :)  (Sorry, inside joke.)



I could go on and on about the memories....the night my parents left us home to go to sleep while they worked their second job, to return to the three of us having a grand ol' bed jumping party (still wish we'd have thought about the fact that in our old house, walking through the front door gave you a straight-line view into our bedroom - would have been nice to have not been caught mid-jump when they walked through the door).  Making scavenger hunts for each other....hundreds of softball games....ski trips.  Again I'm so, SO thankful for every single moment!

Softball days.

Ski trip!

I'm sure Megan remembers all of these things, and savors them the way I do.  I know the way we were raised and the experiences we shared have made us all who we are today ... and who Megan is today is something to praise and celebrate.  She will always be the baby of the family, but she is so much more than that.

She is a woman....a daughter....a sister.  In recent years she has become an aunt, and a wife....a pharmacist.

A beautiful moment at a beautiful wedding.

She is a beautiful and talented lady - someone who has excelled at much of what she's tried her hand at, whether that be dance, trumpet, volleyball, javelin, or academics.  She is an organizer, and she takes so much care in everything that she does.  You can especially see this in how she cares for her pharmacy patients - she really goes the extra mile for them, and it amazes me....just the sheer effort she puts into making sure things are done the correct way.

In May she moved to Salina - she and her husband Kynan are beginning a new chapter of their lives there.  She is now a pharmacy manager for the Dillon's pharmacy in Salina.  I'm happy for them, and excited what the future holds for them, but we miss her terribly.  I'm used to having her close by enough that I still got to see her on an occasional weeknight, and at least a couple of weekends per month.  Now that time has shrunk to maybe one weekend per month.  But we are adjusting - Tessaira, Gabe and Lauren still pick right up with Aunt Megan when they see her.  It is evident how much she loves them, and how much they love their Aunt Megan.  It just makes our times that we do spend together, that much more special.  She has a special energy about her.  She and Aunt Michelle jokingly banter about who is the "cool Aunt", but the reality is they are both amazing.  :)

Aunt Megan with Lo, Decmeber 2011 at Fogo de Chao on the Plaza!

Aunt Megan, Grandma, Gabe and Tessaira at the Discovery Center in Topeka.

Megan - keep shining your beautiful light for all to see.  Your love of God shines through in the way you approach every aspect of your life:  your hard work, your patient care, the way you treat others, the friend that you are to so many, and your positive attitude.  You're going to make a great mom someday!  You mean so much to so many people, especially to your family.  I LOVE YOU, and wish you a very happy birthday!!

 

 

Mel - version 08/10/2012

Well....today's been a day - and it's only the afternoon!  Kinda like a roller coaster day - I've been swinging back and forth between highs and lows.  And fortunately, the highs haven't been too high, and the lows haven't been too low - but my mind is still aflurry.

Today's lessons and realizations:
1.  The rules really do apply to me.  I think a lot of times as adults, we get used to letting deadlines slip - everyone does it and everyone seems to forgive it for the most part because a day or two either way doesn't matter.  Well today, I lost membership in a little peer group I was in on Facebook because I let a deadline slip, and the management there is holding strong on their commitment to the rules.  Good for them - that's not something you come across too much these days - everything seems forgiveable and flexible.  I think we can get to a point where we're coasting through life, not actually drawing hard boundaries for ourselves, not making ourselves really stick to things and follow through, when really we should be.  All good things to think about.  Teachable moment there.
2.  I still need to continue to think before I speak, and listen more than I speak.  Today I actually was able to walk away from a situation that perhaps in the past would have escalated to an argument, because I decided to opt for silence instead of lashing back at someone verbally.  Positive moment for me there.
3.  It makes me feel loved/needed/important when my husband asks me to help him review his stuff for his classes.  Another positive moment for me there.
4. I love spending time with my fam more than anything, and I'm really looking forward to a WOF trip this fall.  Yet another positive moment for me for today!
5.  Sliiightly less than 1/3 of a cup is the perfect amount of hot water to add to your instant oatmeal packet.  Silly to include this here, perhaps.  But when my oatmeal turned out perfect this morning, I can't help but notice that it did make my morning that much better - so I'll include it as another positive - AND on the off chance that for someone else this will turn out to be the perfect amount of water for their desired oatmeal consistency.
6.  I am looking forward to this weekend more than any in the past months due to the lack of plans, and the gorgeous weather (80s in August, get out!!!)...and I really wish Shawn were going to be home to share it with us.  :(  Seriously can't WAIT to get my kids in a couple hours.
7.  I am getting frustrated with the lack of weight loss in the past several weeks, even with the continued food monitoring and exercise I haven't been able to lose any.  Maybe I need to amp up the exercise a notch.  I don't feel burned out, like I'm not trying, but perhaps that is subconsciously what is going on - must try and kick it up a notch!
8.  I'm spending a lot of time laying plans, and thinking about what I want to do, and getting off track with keeping my focus on Him.  Realizing this is always a good teachable moment for me.
9.  I'm striving for patience, humility, kindness, self-control, action instead of laziness, focus on God instead of focus on Me, and a general attitude of love and respect toward every person my life touches.


I'm going to be praying over these verses in Proverbs 19:
15 Laziness brings on deep sleep,
    and the shiftless go hungry.
16 Whoever keeps commandments keeps their life,
    but whoever shows contempt for their ways will die.
17 Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord,
    and he will reward them for what they have done.
18 Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
    do not be a willing party to their death.
19 A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty;
    rescue them, and you will have to do it again.
20 Listen to advice and accept discipline,
    and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
22 What a person desires is unfailing love[b];
    better to be poor than a liar.
23 The fear of the Lord leads to life;
    then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

Let's do it!