Meesh

Michelle.  My first sister.  I've loved her from the very beginning.  Well, or for sure since the moment immediately following the huge bite on the arm that I gave her when mom and dad brought her home from the hospital.  When my mom proceeded to bite me back on the arm....well...that got the message through that Meesh was indeed there to stay, and that she was something oh-so important to us (well those things, and that biting is something to not do).  I started accepting and loving her right then.  ;)

We had a great childhood...I mean a great childhood.  Megan came along a couple years later, and I don't know how my parents did it, but we grew up so tightly-knit.  My sisters were my best friends....are my best friends.  I have so many fond memories from childhood...our rockin' 80s childhood (complete with biker shorts, jelly shoes, leg warmers, Michael Jackson and the like).  We just had hours of play...of time at home.  Things were so....just....less busy.  We played outside for hours - I remember Meesh made up this game called "The Panda Bear Game" and it was complete nonsense, but we played it all the time (it had elements of follow the leader and also this weird stage that involved sitting Indian-style and picking grass).  I wonder if she, 1) remembers the rules, and 2) has taught it to any of her kiddos? 

Our childhood was playing with dolls, and playing house....Barbies, Rainbow Brite and Care Bears.

It was hours and hours of playing records on our stereo in the living room - Michael Jackson, the Bangles, Neil Diamond - and dancing in our leg-warmers.  It was Nintendo...and movies...but goodness never MTV (except for the times we flipped to that channel when mom was outside working or something).

I'm so thankful for the way we grew up, the bonds that were formed, and what it meant to be that close with your family....to have them as this amazing support through anything life has thrown at us (and there have been some times we've needed it).  I'm thankful to know an overwhelming love for them.  Thankful to still be that close with them.  Anyone who has a sister will probably support the statement that it is just such a unique relationship....but mine with my sisters just especially is.

Meesh, Megs and I shared a lot growing up.  Our first home was a small house.  One bathroom.  One bedroom for the three of us - and Meesh and I even had to share a full-size bed for a while.  I remember Meesh and I would spend hours giggling in bed, tracing letters and messages on each others' backs and seeing if the other could guess what we were trying to write....using our Girl Scout-taught sign language alphabet to sign our answers to each other, so mom and dad wouldn't hear us talking instead of going to sleep.  Later in life, once we moved to the house mom and dad live in now, we turned this in to sneaking out of our basement bedrooms in the middle of the night to watch movies.  But even as we got older, and had our separate rooms, the sharing continued.  Poor Meesh even had to share all of her high school years with one of us...the first two years with me, and the last two with Megs.  ;)  But I just firmly believe it was all this sharing that has really played such a huge role in shaping our relationship, and making it as strong as it is.  We shared so much, and we still do.  Meesh is and always will be among the first people I call for any kind of news.  My friends are hers, and hers are mine.  The very bottom line is....I wouldn't trade one moment of any of this, because it's made us who we are as sisters, as our family.....and as individuals.





Meesh has some of those classic "middle child" traits - the peacekeeper, the mediator between the siblings...the one that feels they maybe have tended to fly under the attention radar - or the one that's always being compared to the other siblings.  She has always jokingly referred to herself though, as the best part of the Oreo or the peanut butter sandwich.  There are so many things about her that do make her the best.

Meesh, while I love you for who you are to me and to our family, and all the memories and GOOD TIMES we share, just as much as all that, I love you for you.  I have always appreciated your talents, and your gifts.  You are beautiful.  You play a mean left-center, girl - all the guys whose balls you have snagged (that sounds really bad) can attest to that.  I loved just waiting for them to try and burn you, only to watch you run down the ball and make an amazing catch, or burn them at third when they tried to stretch their base-running by one more base.  You've always been musically talented, and I think you're such a great dancer.  I wish I had the ability to let loose like you do...I've always been envious of that.  ;)  And, I so admire what you've done in the past couple of years with your running....two half marathons is amazing!

I love the Aunt that you are to Tessaira, Gabriel and Lauren.....oh how they love their Aunt Michelle.



Another of my favorite of your gifts, is your work with children - my own children, yes.  But more-so the children whose lives you touch every day.  You are gifted in this area, Meesh....gifted.  The passion you have for working with them......way you communicate with them, the way you meet them on their level, the way they obviously love you and will do the things you need them to.....those gifts are God-given.  I think it's rare when you see someone who is truly utilizing the full extent of their God-given talents, but I think you are.  :)

And mostly, I think you have such a servant heart - you are an amazing friend to so many people.  You have always been free of judgment.  You love and trust so freely.  These are all beautiful, beautiful things.

We all have a lot to celebrate about you, Meesh; and, we are so thankful for you.  These are just my "celebrations" and "thankful fors" about you - and I hope you realize how much I mean them.  Much love today on your birthday...and always.

Never a dull moment...but fortunately there are dull scissors....

I was going to post a status update on Facebook just now about Gabriel and Lauren, and their antics this weekend.  But, it was turning into a lengthier post than I want a status update to be....well, that and I already posted once about Daylight Saving time this morning, and how it was a little tough to get out of bed.  And then I had a second post about Kansas schools and the NCAA tournament, so I figured that was enough out of me on Facebook for one day.  So, I'll just jot a little reminder in my blog.

Ahhh, kids say and do the funniest things.  :) 

This past weekend was a lot of "just Mel and the kids."  Shawn had drill, as he does once a month, and he even had a Symphony concert on Saturday night, once back from drill for that day.  We didn't have too much else going on, so I ended up at home with Gabe and Lauren quite a bit of the time. 

As probably all moms do, I was trying to maintain a good balance of one-on-one time with them, but also spending some time accomplishing necessary household tasks.  So at one moment, I was in the kitchen working on putting clean dishes away.  After a short length of time working, a few quiet minutes went by, and my mom-sense picked up that these were in fact the variety of minutes that are known by parents as "too quiet."  So, I set down the dishes and walked through the dining room and around the corner to the hallway to try and figure out exactly what my quiet children were up to, and where they were up to it.  Didn't take me long to find them, as there they were in the hallway.  As I came around the corner of the dining room to the hallway...there was Gabe, yellow child-craft scissors in hand.  And actually, they were not only "in hand" but looped around his fingers, poised for scissor-action.  Lauren was on the floor, kneeling with her hands up against the wall (because she tries to pull herself up on anything these days), and smiling (as always), and Gabe is standing right behind her.  Gabe, looking guilty, walked immediately to me, scissors in hand and says "I did not cut Lauren's hair," and hands me the scissors.  I took the oustretched scissors, and literally had to walk back to the kitchen to compose myself, then back around to the hallway to confront Gabe. I think I saved the moment; I tried to play it off as "Mommy is putting these scissors up."  There have been a couple of moments in my life where I couldn't hold it and just burst out with laugher right in front of them, but this time I managed to get around the corner.  When I came back to the hall, I did my best acting job to issue a stern "We do NOT play with scissors unless our Mommy and Daddy are there to help us" warning, while choking down the laughter.

The laughter is not at the fact that he could have taken a crazy chunk out of Lauren's hair, or worse, manged to hurt himself or her with the scissors....but at what he said.  Gabe's at this age where he does that whole "I did not just eat some of that candy..." thing, which totally means he either: one, did eat the candy, or two, was about to.  He makes these little non-confessions a couple of times a week, and it CRACKS me up. 

For the record, I looked, and couldn't see any chunks taken out of Lauren's hair.  So either, he tried to cut it and was not successful, or was intending to cut it in the very near future, and I caught him just in time.  :)

We also had a moment this weekend where I was changing sheets on the bed, and the kids were on their own for a couple of minutes.  (An aside here...I promise you I do not leave my children unattended for large portions of time, it just takes them no time at all to find all kinds of fun things to get into.)  Gabriel is very well potty-trained at this stage of his life, and had actually gone in and taken care of business.  However, he did it without me knowing, and even when he was done, he did not come in and proudly announce it, like he usually does.  This is only a problem because of Lauren's current stage of life.  He uses his potty chair.  This potty chair is riiight within Lauren's 9 month old capability to reach.  I do not know what her fascination is with playing in the bathroom, but she sure does try to go in that room whenever the door is open.  So for now, we just keep the door completely closed.  Well, since Gabe had gone in there, and he doesn't know or remember to keep the door shut very well, and I didn't know he'd gone in there and opened the door and left it that way...and, well...you know where this is going.  So, I'm changing the sheets ......and I start to smell .... something.  I look down and there's Lauren, and I'm like "oh man Lauren, here let's go change your diaper."  I pick her up and realize it's not a diaper change she needs, but a scrub-down.  I did not realize this in time to save the shirt I was wearing, or Lauren's clothing.....but fortunately it wasn't much...and she apparently did not try to .... well....nevermind.  Let's just say that there were a couple of places I could have found stuff that would have made that moment a lot worse, so I'm thankful.

I hope that I am not the only mom who experiences things like this, both because I want to feel normal, and because it's little mishaps like this that add so much "flavor" to my everyday life.  Oh, Gabe and Lauren....thank you for keeping me on my toes, and for all of these wonderful moments.  Hopefully one day soon I will get the super-mom role "down", and maybe in the meantime, I'll manage to stay just one step ahead of you.  :)

Am I like Norman?

Ever have one of those moments where it's really felt as if God came down from Heaven....and put someone or something directly in your path....as if He wanted to directly and immediately answer a question you have.....or at the least, speak to thoughts circling in your brain at that point in your life?  Well, I think that has now happened to me a couple/few times.  I'll write about the first incident another time, but the second one happened so recently, and it's really still fresh in my mind, so I'm going to write about it now. 

In this particular instance, God delivered Himself to me in a little "Tessaira package."  I'd been in conversations with someone fairly close to me....about....well....influences in our lives, particularly friends.  I was speaking about how I thought it was important to, as much as we can, surround ourselves with people that are good influences on us.  And as a Christian...that additionally means to me that it's important to be friends with people who share my beliefs, who can encourage me spiritually/scripturally....and who can and will convict me...hold me accountable.  I'm not saying that I can not be friends with someone unless they're a Christian.  I have so many friends from various religions, backgrounds, sexual orientations...you name it.  And yet, as a Christian, I do see the importance of having relationships with other Christians.  My conversation that night with that person spiraled into more of a "well how do we know who the good influences are, what makes someone a good Christian anyway," type of conversation.  And after I spoke for a bit, this person, stated something to the effect that I was being pretty judgmental in some of the things I was saying.  And as I sat there wondering aloud to them on these topics....I began to see how what I was saying could be perceived as "judgment"...and possibly that what I was saying was indeed full of judgment.  Was I being judgmental? 

The following evening, still mulling over lingering thoughts from the recent conversation, I went about my evening routine.  We'd just gotten Gabriel down for bed, and we had Tessaira that night, so I asked her to pick out a book to read together while I got my jammies on.  She was gone for a few minutes, searching through her several shelves of books.....and then she came around the corner into our bedroom doorway, with a book in hand.  "This one," she stated, and handed me a copy of "Sidney and Norman - A Tale of Two Pigs" by Phil Vischer.  My breath caught in my throat for a second.  We'd read this book only once before....I bought it for her maybe a couple years ago, and we read it soon after that, and not since that.  But I remembered generally what the book was about, and prepared myself for a humbling experience.

Can you get an idea of what the book is about from the cover?  Sidney and Norman are neighbors...but other than the location of their homes, their lives are hardly similar.  Sidney struggles.  Norman has it together.  Sidney is disheveled and disorganized; Norman is organized and impeccable.  Norman and Sidney go about their daily lives, living so close together...and yet they hardly interact.  Maybe it's because they just really don't have all that much in common...maybe it's a little bit because Norman feels superior to Sidney...

Their lives change one day though, when they both receive a letter from God, and he invites each of them to come and meet with Him.  Norman goes, expecting praise for all that he has accomplished and for the organized and "together" way that he lives his life; Sidney goes expecting to hear that his life so far has actually been quite a disappointment to God.  And as it goes with God....neither pig walks away from their meeting feeling that their expectations had been met.  But isn't that how God works in all of our lives?  :)  I know for me, He rarely does things in the way or timing that I hope for or even expect, or things will be brought around to me in a different way than I expect to receive them.  Thank God for all of that.  And thank God that he delivered His message to me through Tessaira that night.

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So.  Where am I going with all of this?  I actually began this post in February 2011, it was one of the very first ones that I ever began for this blog.  It's now February 2012.  I've shelved it for so long because I still am not sure exactly how to process my swirling thoughts on all of it...but maybe someone who reads this will be able to share some of their own.  I guess the bottom line is...there may be a few times in my life that stand out as Norman-like moments...where perhaps I was being judgmental.  However....I have had plenty of Sidney moments too (where I was just completely faced with a horrible decision I'd made, or my totally sinful nature, or where I just did not have my crap together and was not doing the best that I could), and I just want the world to know that. 

Where is the line between "passing judgment" on someone and wanting to surround yourself with Christian friends?  (I think you should be able to choose whom you want to be friends with, without society feeling like you're looking down on someone....everyone has a set of criteria with which they choose who to decide to be friends with.)  How correct is society for believing that Christians are self-righteous and judgmental people like Norman?  As a Christian...how can I make sure I'm not being self-righteous and judgmental?  I can guarantee you, I do not feel "better than" other people.  I don't think that I'm "better than" anyone else...Lord knows I have plenty of faults, and do things the wrong way.  The Bible tells us that we've all sinned and fall short....yet how do Christians still come off this way?

This past Sunday at church, was Youth Sunday...always a sweet and uplifting service.  They recited a poem that I had never heard before, but that has apparently been around since 1988.  It was written by a woman named Carol Wimmer, and you can find her information here, as well as a link to the poem on her site:  http://carolwimmer.com/

And once again....God delivered himself to me...sent me a little message this weekend...this time through the youth at my church.  All of the ideas in this poem I believe are central to what I want the entire world to know and believe about Christians (especially with regard to the topics of judgment and self righteousness)...and what I want Christian people to live out in their everyday lives.  These thoughts are just so, so good.  And as it goes...Carol does a much better job of saying any of these than I ever could hope to...so here are her words: 

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
I’m whispering, “I get lost!
That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak with human pride
I’m confessing that I stumble -
needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong
I’m professing that I’m weak
and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success
I’m admitting that I’ve failed
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I don’t think I know it all
I submit to my confusion
asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible
but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache
which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority
I only know I’m loved

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer


My prayer is that the World will see that as Christians, we seek not to judge, but to show others the forgiveness, grace, comfort and love we've found in knowing Jesus; and, that as Christians, we will be true to this in our actions toward others.

Gabriel - 02/17/2012

Oh, Gabriel Curtis....you bring me joy.  I love you so much.  I love you more than any other parent could possibly love their child.....to the point that this love could just burst out of me.  It is frustratingly impossible to describe just how much love I have for you.  :)  This post is dedicated to you, because as your Mom, I treasure every single moment that I spend with you, and I know that along the way, a lot of these little moments may be lost, unless I take some time to remember some of them.  :) 

Here you are....I feel this picture kinda "says it all" about you right now, Gabe.  You were getting ready for bed as I snapped this, and we have this thing with leaving your shirt kinda on your head the way it is in the picture...and you say "look at my orange hair, Mommy!!"  You think it's just the funniest thing, and you do it almost every night.

Look at those eyelashes.  And the food on your face....there are not too many foods you won't eat...although, you are way more likely to eat vegetables and fruits than you are meat or bread.  I'd say your two favorite foods right now are pizza and pickled beets - I'll bet that's pizza sauce on your face in the picture.  :)    Then there's the marker on your elbow...oh how you LOVE to color and especially with markers.  In recent weeks, you have really impressed me with your coloring skills.  You frequently tell me "I did not scribble, mom!" and you really don't!  So often now I watch you coloring (or "colorling" as you so cutely say it) and you're so careful, and you're really able to stay in the lines so well for your age.  This picture just epitomizes "3 year old Gabe."   

Your sweet little expression just melts me.....you have that little half grin that one finds on your face quite often.  You're just mischevious enough to have fun, but still oh-so well behaved.  Your Sunday school teachers (Miss Nancy and Miss Julie) tell your Daddy and me all the time just how well you listen and obey, and so do all of your teachers at ABC.  That makes me so proud.  It will always be my goals to raise you to be a guy who loves Jesus above all, closely followed by your family....and for you to always be a polite, respectful, but FUN little guy.  :)

You have really gotten to an age where it is very fun to watch you play.  You like to climb, you like to play games, you love books, and you LOVE your Thomas trains that you got for your birthday and Christmas in 2011!

And...you love your sisters, both Tessaira and Lauren, so very much. 

Here are my memories, and few of my favorite Gabe-isms as of late:
~He LOVES beets.
~He loves trains: hearing them, seeing them, playing with them, etc.
~He absolutely ADORES both of his sisters.  He is always asking about Tessaira when she's not with us, and follows her every move when she is with us.  He is always entertaining Lauren and trying to make her laugh - he also calls her "Grin-cakes" just like Grandpa does.
~He calls coloring "colorling", he loves to do it, and for a three year-old seems very good at it to me.  He does a great job of being as careful as he can and staying in the lines.
~He is very perceptive....sometimes to the point where he's able to call people out on things.  Funny story...the other day we were playing at Grandpa and Grandma's house (my parents' house).  And he LOVES his Grandparents....and loves the time he spends with them.  Well Grandpa was sitting in a chair near where Gabe was playing, watching Gabe.  Gabe excitedly asked Grandpa to "come and play with me!" to which Grandpa replied "Oh I am playin' with ya buddy!!"  And Gabe said....."no  you're just sitting there..." in his little three year old way.  It busted us all up.  :)
~His favorite CD at the moment is a little Veggie Tales bedtime CD (that we listen to frequently at all times of the day, especially in the car) where Junior Asparagus sings songs like "Twinkle Little Star" and "Bushel and a Peck".
~One of his favorite times of day is each evening, as we go through our tuck-in routine.  We read (favorite books right now are "Goodnight Moon", "Goodnight Gorilla", "Tanka Skunk", and his little picture Bible-especially the stories of David and Foliah (Goliath), and baby Moses), and then we pray.  And we always say "Now I lay me down to sleep..." but it's when that prayer is over that he gets in his element.  We also pray to God for what we're thankful for....usual items for him are his bunk beds :) and his family.  And then we pray for our petitions...our concerns....and he LOVES mentioning people to remember and pray for.  His Papa (Shawn's dad) is dealing with some health issues right now, and he always asks to pray for him.  Tessaira's mother lost her job and was on a search for a new one, and once Gabe learned about that he was always wanting to pray for Arin about that too.  Just a couple more examples.  :) 
~He is just so sweet, especially for a little boy.  I'm not saying that I think little boys do not care about anything, but he just really knows how to love on people, and shows so much love for all his family, especially his sisters.  And he is usually very obedient and eager to please his parents.
~His favorite places to go right now are anywhere with "equickment" to play on (so Pizza Hut, McDonald's, etc.)  :)  He also enjoys going to the mall and shopping and playing on the equipment there.  And Topeka recently added a "Going Bonkers" which he LOVES running around and playing at.

I will close this post just by letting Gabe know how incredibly special he really is, and that it is our prayer that he continue to grow up to just have a deep love of God and of all the people in his life....and that he'll keep making us laugh.  The next story  is one small example of the laughter he brings.....and all I can say is, please keep it coming, bubby!!!

A few weeks ago, I was sitting on the floor in the living room, watching Gabe play.  At that moment, he had his little "play" Nativity set out.  Yes it was January, but this is one that we keep in their toy drawer year-round for them to play with.  And, it's a pretty involved set, it has several angels and animals and haybales, in addition to the traditional people characters.  He'd been acting out little scenarios with various players, and I'd been overhearing little snippets of his conversations, but for some reason he'd gotten animated enough that I really zoned in on what he was saying and doing at that moment....and he had Mary in his right hand, and a little donkey in his left.  And he was adamantly waving Mary around as she said to the donkey "NO NO!!!  We don't poop on baby Jesus!  We gotta take care of him!!"

Hahahaha.  :) 

Well said, Gabe.....well said.  :)

Decisions, decisions ...

A single decision will change your life.  If you want to make a change (yes Michael, you start with the man in the mirror)...but you have to see the change as it is.....one...decision...at...a...time.  I know I'm not inventing this idea...but recently I've really seen it playing out in my life.  Gosh....resolutions seem so much easier...so much less daunting when you look at them that way.  I'm still fairly caught up in my new year's resolutions.  With some things it may not be good to be "caught up" in them, but I think with resolutions, that's a good thing. 

After my last post, I got very gung-ho about them.  Thank you to those who prayed, because I'm absolutely certain that had something to do with it.  The weather was nice.  Strike that...the weather was unbelievable,  especially for a Kansas January!  I was able to get outside and exercise by doing some walking and hiking.  And the more I exercised the more I didn't want to "ruin" my effort with what I ate, so I made a lot of good decisions when it came to my food choices and diary.  If you continue down this little trail of good decisions, one might even be able to trace an improvement in my attitude, perhaps because I was feeling better due to the diet and exercise.  And because of that, I feel like I've been giving better effort at work...and towards my kids and family...and...and...and......................................

I'm sure you notice what I do in that scenario.  One positive decision led to others, until I had a regular li'l metaphorical snowball of good decision making.  And my snowball grew larger and larger with each day.  Notice now though, that I'm referring to the snowball in the past tense.  The past few days haven't been so good for me.  I had chocolate ice cream before bed last night.  I got absolutely upset with Gabriel the night before for repeatedly getting out of bed - I thought he was fooling around, and it turns out he had a massive ear infection.  *insert bad-mother cringe here*

Apparently, for me.....just as good decisions follow good, bad decisions follow bad. 

So this is encouragement to myself (and to you if you so need) to just start over with one, simple, little, teeny-tiny, decision.  Today I started again with a good decision for my lunch food.  Then I skipped the urge to buy a treat when I had to go out at the end of my lunch break to pick up Gabe's medicine.  And man, that made me feel good....both because that particular decision not only helped my waistline, but my pocketbook too.  As I was walking through the parking lot, I came across a Target cart lying on its side...not right in the middle of a lane, but partially blocking it.  And honestly, I think that on plenty of days I would have walked by (justifying to myself that I was in a hurry), or perhaps set it up and onto the curb, but not necessarily walked it back.  But not today...today I was feeling so good, that I set it up and walked it all the way back around the parking lot and inside the Target store...and someone noticed and gave me a little pat on the back for my effort.  Man that felt good...and I think it made them feel good too.  So now, apparently my good decisions could possibly be affecting that woman's day, and her decicions as well.  That makes me really happy too.

So, the point to my blathering?  Just trying to encourage myself, and you, to make the right choices wherever and whenever we can.  Here's to us all turning one good decision into a hundred.  :)  

I Resolve...

Come on 2012, I'm waiting.  Where is my swift kick in the pants?  The beginning of the new year is such the ideal time to start fresh...to reevaluate and reprioritize.  My friends are talking about their resolutions.  I've been actually thinking and praying about mine for weeks now. 

Dictionary.com defines resolve in the following way:

re·solve

   /rɪˈzɒlv/ Show Spelled [ri-zolv] Show IPA verb, -solved, -solv·ing, noun

verb (used with object)

1. to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall live to the full.

 

It's easy to resolve to do something.  In the past couple of weeks I've been resolving all over the place.  :)  If it were as easy and simple as making the resolution, boy howdy, I'd be set.  Here are just a few of some of my resolutions for 2012:

1. Read more.  And in particular, I mean the Bible. 

2.  Work better.  I mean to show up a little earlier to work...to check my personal e-mail and Facebook a little less...to devote extra lunch time when I can, and to try to be as efficient as I can.

3.  To be more patient.  Lord help me...please.

4.  To get healthier.  Lord help me...please. 

 

And the list goes on.  Really, what I resolve to do is just better myself in whatever way possible.  That's the "general" way to say it.  I want to be a better example to my kids...abetter example of Christian love to everyone.  I want to do a better job at work.  I want to be healthier, both so I feel better, and so I look better.  I just want to be better.  I want it so much...SO much!  And yet....here I sit. 

 

Oh sure, I felt good about myself the few times I've ordered water instead of soda this year.  And about the few times I've ordered smartly off the menu at a restaurant.  These are both good little marks in my "be healthier" column.  But overall.....I'm not making much progress.  Not the way I want to be.  I've yet to exercise.  I've yet to pick up my Bible in the past 10 days.  I don't think I've yet had a day in the past 10 where I didn't snap at one of my children with my impatience.  I've felt sluggish, and not too motivated yet.  Maybe I'm still coming through the busyness of Christmas and the holidays, and I haven't gotten over that next hump...but I need something to get me driven...to motivate and inspire me.

 

Then on Sunday, my pastor preached a very inspirational sermon on resolutions.  It inspired me, and confirmed some of the things I had already chosen to focus on trying to do better this year.  He gave us a Scripture reading plan for the next 90 days that will take us through the New Testament.  He gave us tools to help us digest what we read and apply it to our lives.  He encouraged us to spend the time.  And most importantly, he just stated so simply that...."hey, you need to be in the Scriptures to get to the root of what we really should be resolving to do,"  just to be researching God's purpose for our lives.  It may be just enough to get me over the afore-mentioned hump.  Maybe if you would be so kind as to pray for me too, that might be the last shove that I need for 2012.  :)

 

I've resolved.  Now let me act.

A Meditation

I was recently asked to write a meditation to be included in my church's annual Lenten Meditation book.  I was really honored, and pretty excited, as I love to write.  It is "due" by tomorrow, so I've been working on it the past few days.  There was no theme, or assigned topic so that left the door wiiiiide open. 

While at church two Sundays ago, I sat pondering possible topics.  My mind spun out of control with the possibilities, and my thoughts got increasingly detailed and complex.  But, this was to be a short meditation.  I'd been praying about what to write about, and said another prayer that morning as I sat there....and then it hit me.  Keep it simple.  And what is just about the most perfect example of simplicity in our world?  Children.  I jotted down these words on a piece of scrap paper:  "Jesus loves me.  It really is that simple."  I prayed about it some more, and have decided to submit the meditation that I'm including below.  This was pretty difficult for me to write, because it had to be so short, but I'm happy with it, and I hope that it will resonate with at least one other person out there in some way.  :) 

As we celebrate this Christmas season...I pray that you each are able to experience the simple joy and love that children so beautifully illustrate for us....especially at this time of year.

Merry Christmas!!

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Scripture:  Mark 10:13-16 

Meditation: 

            It’s 5:15, and as I gather my things up at work, a smile comes across my face; I’m about to experience one of my favorite moments on any given day.  When I arrive to pick up my kids, I find Gabriel completely lost in play on the floor.  I watch him for a moment – he’s full of energy and enthusiasm.  “Gabriel!” I call out, and his little blond head immediately perks up.  He tosses the toys aside, and bounds across the room as fast as his little two-year old legs can carry him.  He lands in my embrace with an excited “Mommy!” and I melt into the required Mommy-puddle.  His sheer enthusiasm is contagious.

Gabriel constantly picks me up like this.  He also convicts me, and keeps me honest.  But more than any of those things, his sweet two-year old mind draws me back to how simple life really is.  When my adult mind gets too focused on the next deadline or item on the list, he asks me to sit with him and read a book.  When impatience oozes its way into me, Gabriel meets that with sweetly spoken words of patience.  He sits at the feet of his parents, eager to spend time with us.  He knows that Jesus loves him, that the Bible tells him so….and that it really is that simple.

Prayer:  Father God, help us to view the world and each other through the eyes of a child, where hurts can be loved away, and obedience is expected.  Help us to simplify the clutter and chaos of our everyday lives so that we can sit at Your feet, eagerly awaiting Your words and guidance, and run with full-force into Your embrace at the end of each day.  Amen.