Problem-solving 101

Sheesh.  Do I have a lot of problems.  :)  No that's a statement, not a question - I already know the answer. 

I try hard.  Man, do I try hard.  But I still fail miserably.  And, the kind of failure I'm talking about has to do with "walking the walk" of my faith.  I want all of these beautiful things for my family, my marriage....I want people to see God's love when they see me...when they see my kids.  But how does that ol' saying go....something about the spirit being willing..........but.......................

My flesh is WEAK.  It becomes painfully obvious when you have children - you want so much for them and from them.  You set the expectational bar so high.  It's so easy to notice and correct the flaws in others...not so easy to recognize them in yourself.  Or maybe it's actually easy to spot them....it's just that we have to take the time to step back and look.  When I'm in the middle of raising my voice at Gabriel to please be patient about something (thus exhibiting a beautiful display of my own impatience) I wouldn't even have to step that far back.  

Starting now, I'm stepping back and taking a good look.  But more than that....after I look, I need to correct.  Or let's start by saying "try or strive to correct."  I doubt.  I worry.  I'm impatient.  I raise my voice far too often to my children.  I am...what is the opposite of gentle.....whatever it is, I'm it.  I'm vain.  Or, I don't know if vain is the right term....but I'm whatever it is when you think your ideas are good ones and leave little room for others' thoughts...controlling maybe?  I'm all about my own thoughts and plans for my family and leave little room for asking God what HIS plans are for us.  I can be judgmental.  I spend too much time taking care of the stuff of life (which does have to be taken care of, don't get me wrong) and not enough time seeking Him out....which leads me to the point.

All of these realizations....these problems.....they can only be corrected in two steps (two steps that must be done together).  And those are: one, pray about what God would have for my life and my family, and two, to spend a considerably larger portion of my time reading the instruction manual that has been laid out for how we go about fixing these problems....and that is the Bible.

I've gone through phases of my life where I was in the Bible a lot....or reading books based on Biblical teaching....times where I felt close to God and in tune with the where/how/and why of my life's direction.  But to be perfectly honest, I'm much more in tune now with picking up children, folding laundry while I watch TV shows, or juggling the other dozens of tasks any working parent does on a daily basis.

I don't yet have a plan for exactly how and when I will incorporate more of both of these things.  But I do know that it will involve taking a moment, putting down all the items that I'm juggling, picking up the prayer time "ball", and the Bible time "ball" and then gradually adding all the others back in to the flow.  They just have to be sought for first, and have everything else then worked in.  Unless you prioritize them, they are way too easily moved to the back burner...the burner that doesn't often enough get used. 

I started at lunch today - I simply did a search for "women's online devotional" and came across the following:

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/encouragement/

It always amazes me....just the sheer billiance of His timing.....when I'm consciously paying attention and trying to more willingly seek Him out.  This devotional nicely covers the majority of the things that I seek to change...the majority of the things that I want to be as a Godly woman.  And this little gem just happened to be the daily devotional for today, and I just happened to finally decide to "get with it" with these notions today....and isn't it just amazing how that all timed out?  Yeah, it's not a coincidence  :)  Here is an excerpt:

His Word tells me exactly how He wants me to respond with my speech. My words should be:

Edifying:
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Gentle:
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

Self-controlled:
"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." Proverbs 29:11 (NIV 1984)

Compassionate:
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

This can so hard to do on our own! Yet God enables us to walk in obedience to these scriptures through the power of His Holy Spirit. He will mold us and make us more like Him. And on those days when we feel as if there is no way we can speak kindly to others, let's remember His Word says we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil. 4:13).

When we quiet our hearts. When we open His Word instead of just opening our mouths. When we approach Him with a heart of surrender. When we choose to submit to His ways instead of our own ....

That is when God will do His work and help us tame our tongue. And the next time we find ourselves asking, "Did I really just say that?" I'm praying it will be because we responded with patience, kindness and gentleness that is evidence of His work in us.

Almighty God....you created me...you know my actions....and you see my thoughts and intentions.  You know that I love you.  You know I wish that I could live in a way that would make the entire world fall in love with you.  You also know that I am not able to accomplish this, especially not with the amount of time I have been putting in to prayer and reading recently.  Over the next days and months, I pray that you would direct my thoughts to you, put people in my path who will remind me of what I seek to do, please encourage others to pray for me in these endeavors, and help me just draw close to You.  I have not been, but seek to be a patient, gentle, servant-hearted example of Your love - let these goals be constantly in my mind and heart so I can step toward them each day.  It is only by the sacrifice of Jesus that I can even be forgiven and start over, and I am so, SO thankful for that.  I pray these things in Jesus's name.  Amen. 

Lauren at a Year!

Whew - time she is a flyin'!  How is our little Lauren already over one year old?!  I was going to be super mom, and have this sweet and meaningful blog entry written to post on Lo's first birthday in honor of the occasion - yeah that did not happen.  At that point of my life, I was up to my armpits in children's clothing, suitcases, and sunblock as we packed for our Branson vacation - a trip well worth any packing efforts! 

I think it's a pretty standard feeling that time speeds up as you get older, and maybe also just as standardly recognized, that then once you have children, said speed increases exponentially.  It really doesn't seem like all that long ago when I first realized I was pregnant with Lauren (although now, it's been a year and 9 months).  I recall being downstairs - it was later in the evening and Gabe was in bed.  Shawn and I were playing on our computers - and I suddenly had a serious urge to make some fried potatoes.  So, I did - I marched upstairs and sliced up some potatoes and then proceeded to eat the entire batch that I made.  As I was back downstairs, munching away....it hit me.  "Oh my gosh....I'm pregnant."  Never in my life (except maybe when I was pregnant with Gabe) have I done something like fry up a skillet of potatoes and proceed to eat the entire thing.  I took a test soon after....and it was confirmed - our second child was on the way!

I remember the swirling thoughts....."but, no....no I can't be pregnant - I have not lost all the weight and gotten in the shape I wanted to be in before getting pregnant again,"....."no...no I can't be yet...we haven't moved to a bigger house so we can have a room for each kid...how are we going to fit everyone...and oh my gosh, daycare...I wanted to be in a better position financially before our next child...." and on and on.  But as it goes....my best-laid plans and thoughts and intentions were set aside as we instead (and once again) followed God's path for us, and submitted to His perfect timing for our lives...Lauren was coming...and she'd be here in 9 months. 

As the pregnancy progressed, my worries about the timing were quickly brushed aside.  We heard her tiny little hearbeat.....got our first glimpse at her sweet little profile...and once again wondered at the sheer miracle that it is to grow a new life.

I also gave serious thanks that my pregnancy with Lauren was night-and-day different than that with Gabriel - this was one smooth, and illness-free pregnancy!  I guess it was a preview of what was to come, a bit of foreshadowing if you will, because Lauren's first year was also one of smooth sailing.

She was "due" to arrive on May 25th.  I had my last appointment with Denise, my midwife, on May 24th, and that was enough to start the ball rolling.  I did drive to work after that appointment, but had to leave by Noon when the contractions were about five minutes apart.  Lauren graced us with her presence at 5:49 that evening.  Being the seasoned parents that we were (insert winky face here) .... that might have played a part in just how we perceived everything about Lauren's arrival.  With Gabriel I felt clueless...anxious...okay, really borderline terrified.  But with Lauren we knew more of what to expect, and everything just seemed easier.  It's hard to say how much of that was Lauren just actually being easier...and how much of it may have been our perception.  There was very little crying - hardly a peep when she had to get her heel pricked for bloodwork in the hospital.  Lauren slept longer chunks of time from the very beginning, and was happier in between the times of sleep as well.  She was a sweet and happy baby from the very beginning.

I remember just being ready to be home....ready to be a family.  We've never been shy to just jump right in there and carry on with our normal, daily lives and just include the babies in what we do.  We went to church that first Sunday, just five days after Lo was born.  The next day, Monday, we traveled to Wichita to visit family and friends with her, and she's always been just a little trooper.  I always said that it was such a fun time to be on maternity leave with her because Tessaira was home for the summer, and the kids and I had a couple of months full of outings to the new Discovery Center in Topeka, the Zoo, the pool, and so on.  We made the absolute most of that time together!!  Here she is at the Zoo with Daddy, playing at the Discovery Center with T, and hangin' at home with big brother, Gabe.  :)



Lauren's always been in the upper percentiles for her size, both height and weight.  And, I don't know if it's because of the size, or what exactly, but she has always been so strong!  She rolled over (from tummy to back) before she was even one full month old!

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I remember going to her one-month appointment, and telling the story of how Lauren had already rolled over to Dr. Pridgett - she said we were in trouble and agreed she was so strong (as she struggled to straighten her leg to check her hip flexibility).  Lauren's always reached those physical milestones (holding her head up, crawling, pulling up, and even walking) all a bit on the early side.  We had to start chasing after her at about 10 1/2 months old when she really began toddling around.  The first year is just chock-full of those milestones - different for each child ..... and I have relished watching her achieve each of them in her own time.

I also just cherish watching her grow - in no other year of life will your child change and grow so much!

It's a beautiful thing to watch your child come into their own, develop their personality, and dream about what all is in store for them!

So, my little Lauren Leann - thank you for a fun and memorable first year.  We will continue to watch you grow and cherish your sweet personality.  We will be your biggest cheerleaders, celebrating every milestone and accomplishment along the way!  And, we'll continue to pray that you will grow to love Jesus and do everything in the spirit of joy, love and grace that only comes from knowing Him.  We love you!!

Routinely Grateful

"It's time for jammies!" I call out to the kids.  We start this process at 7:45 so we hopefully have time to get the kids in bed by 8:30.  We have this down to a good routine....it's almost a science at our home, really.  Routines are good for kids.  It's jammies first, followed by a bedtime treat, followed by bathroom, followed by teeth-brushin', followed by drinks of water, followed by stories.  Then we get them into bed.  And this is just about my most favorite 5-10 minutes of any given day - these few precious minutes we spend together as we're tucking them in.

This little chunk of time isn't quite as structured as the minutes leading up to the tuck-in, but, it always consists of some conversation about the day, singing a couple of songs, saying a prayer and sharing some loves and kisses.  I can't remember when or how exactly we started the gratefulness discussions each night - there was just one night where I just asked the kids what they were grateful for, and anything especially from that day that they were thankful for.  And...this has just really stuck - the kids really open up and share, and sometimes really amaze me with the things they say they're thankful for.  Of course there are the nights where we're thankful for bunk beds....but that's okay.  Bunk beds are fun....I always wanted bunk beds as a kid.  Unfortunately for me that dream never came to pass - the closest I got was spending the night at the Sullins' home and getting to sleep in theirs.  :)

Last night, I knelt down beside Gabe's bed, and his sweet little 3-year old voice asked me "Mommy what are you thankful for today?"  Insert Mommy heart-melty moment right here.  My goal with talking about gratefulness as often as we do is to just be able to cultivate grateful and generous hearts in my children, for them to be grateful for every little thing, every day.  It just did my heart so much good for Gabe to ask me about it last night.  At this point, it may still just be chalked up to the fact that it's part of our little routine.  Or, one might call it a habit.  My hope and prayer is that yes it will always be routine for them to be grateful...but that it will feel to them like anything but "just a habit."  The world is a beautiful place when viewed through grateful eyes. 

Father God - Please help me to always be grateful, and for that grateful spirit to invade all my thoughts so I will be generous and live my life as if there is plenty to share.  Let this lead to freely giving of my time and resources where they're needed.  And please, let this spirit and (hopefully) example cultivate grateful hearts in my children.  Help us all to be grateful.  Amen. 

Meesh

Michelle.  My first sister.  I've loved her from the very beginning.  Well, or for sure since the moment immediately following the huge bite on the arm that I gave her when mom and dad brought her home from the hospital.  When my mom proceeded to bite me back on the arm....well...that got the message through that Meesh was indeed there to stay, and that she was something oh-so important to us (well those things, and that biting is something to not do).  I started accepting and loving her right then.  ;)

We had a great childhood...I mean a great childhood.  Megan came along a couple years later, and I don't know how my parents did it, but we grew up so tightly-knit.  My sisters were my best friends....are my best friends.  I have so many fond memories from childhood...our rockin' 80s childhood (complete with biker shorts, jelly shoes, leg warmers, Michael Jackson and the like).  We just had hours of play...of time at home.  Things were so....just....less busy.  We played outside for hours - I remember Meesh made up this game called "The Panda Bear Game" and it was complete nonsense, but we played it all the time (it had elements of follow the leader and also this weird stage that involved sitting Indian-style and picking grass).  I wonder if she, 1) remembers the rules, and 2) has taught it to any of her kiddos? 

Our childhood was playing with dolls, and playing house....Barbies, Rainbow Brite and Care Bears.

It was hours and hours of playing records on our stereo in the living room - Michael Jackson, the Bangles, Neil Diamond - and dancing in our leg-warmers.  It was Nintendo...and movies...but goodness never MTV (except for the times we flipped to that channel when mom was outside working or something).

I'm so thankful for the way we grew up, the bonds that were formed, and what it meant to be that close with your family....to have them as this amazing support through anything life has thrown at us (and there have been some times we've needed it).  I'm thankful to know an overwhelming love for them.  Thankful to still be that close with them.  Anyone who has a sister will probably support the statement that it is just such a unique relationship....but mine with my sisters just especially is.

Meesh, Megs and I shared a lot growing up.  Our first home was a small house.  One bathroom.  One bedroom for the three of us - and Meesh and I even had to share a full-size bed for a while.  I remember Meesh and I would spend hours giggling in bed, tracing letters and messages on each others' backs and seeing if the other could guess what we were trying to write....using our Girl Scout-taught sign language alphabet to sign our answers to each other, so mom and dad wouldn't hear us talking instead of going to sleep.  Later in life, once we moved to the house mom and dad live in now, we turned this in to sneaking out of our basement bedrooms in the middle of the night to watch movies.  But even as we got older, and had our separate rooms, the sharing continued.  Poor Meesh even had to share all of her high school years with one of us...the first two years with me, and the last two with Megs.  ;)  But I just firmly believe it was all this sharing that has really played such a huge role in shaping our relationship, and making it as strong as it is.  We shared so much, and we still do.  Meesh is and always will be among the first people I call for any kind of news.  My friends are hers, and hers are mine.  The very bottom line is....I wouldn't trade one moment of any of this, because it's made us who we are as sisters, as our family.....and as individuals.





Meesh has some of those classic "middle child" traits - the peacekeeper, the mediator between the siblings...the one that feels they maybe have tended to fly under the attention radar - or the one that's always being compared to the other siblings.  She has always jokingly referred to herself though, as the best part of the Oreo or the peanut butter sandwich.  There are so many things about her that do make her the best.

Meesh, while I love you for who you are to me and to our family, and all the memories and GOOD TIMES we share, just as much as all that, I love you for you.  I have always appreciated your talents, and your gifts.  You are beautiful.  You play a mean left-center, girl - all the guys whose balls you have snagged (that sounds really bad) can attest to that.  I loved just waiting for them to try and burn you, only to watch you run down the ball and make an amazing catch, or burn them at third when they tried to stretch their base-running by one more base.  You've always been musically talented, and I think you're such a great dancer.  I wish I had the ability to let loose like you do...I've always been envious of that.  ;)  And, I so admire what you've done in the past couple of years with your running....two half marathons is amazing!

I love the Aunt that you are to Tessaira, Gabriel and Lauren.....oh how they love their Aunt Michelle.



Another of my favorite of your gifts, is your work with children - my own children, yes.  But more-so the children whose lives you touch every day.  You are gifted in this area, Meesh....gifted.  The passion you have for working with them......way you communicate with them, the way you meet them on their level, the way they obviously love you and will do the things you need them to.....those gifts are God-given.  I think it's rare when you see someone who is truly utilizing the full extent of their God-given talents, but I think you are.  :)

And mostly, I think you have such a servant heart - you are an amazing friend to so many people.  You have always been free of judgment.  You love and trust so freely.  These are all beautiful, beautiful things.

We all have a lot to celebrate about you, Meesh; and, we are so thankful for you.  These are just my "celebrations" and "thankful fors" about you - and I hope you realize how much I mean them.  Much love today on your birthday...and always.

Never a dull moment...but fortunately there are dull scissors....

I was going to post a status update on Facebook just now about Gabriel and Lauren, and their antics this weekend.  But, it was turning into a lengthier post than I want a status update to be....well, that and I already posted once about Daylight Saving time this morning, and how it was a little tough to get out of bed.  And then I had a second post about Kansas schools and the NCAA tournament, so I figured that was enough out of me on Facebook for one day.  So, I'll just jot a little reminder in my blog.

Ahhh, kids say and do the funniest things.  :) 

This past weekend was a lot of "just Mel and the kids."  Shawn had drill, as he does once a month, and he even had a Symphony concert on Saturday night, once back from drill for that day.  We didn't have too much else going on, so I ended up at home with Gabe and Lauren quite a bit of the time. 

As probably all moms do, I was trying to maintain a good balance of one-on-one time with them, but also spending some time accomplishing necessary household tasks.  So at one moment, I was in the kitchen working on putting clean dishes away.  After a short length of time working, a few quiet minutes went by, and my mom-sense picked up that these were in fact the variety of minutes that are known by parents as "too quiet."  So, I set down the dishes and walked through the dining room and around the corner to the hallway to try and figure out exactly what my quiet children were up to, and where they were up to it.  Didn't take me long to find them, as there they were in the hallway.  As I came around the corner of the dining room to the hallway...there was Gabe, yellow child-craft scissors in hand.  And actually, they were not only "in hand" but looped around his fingers, poised for scissor-action.  Lauren was on the floor, kneeling with her hands up against the wall (because she tries to pull herself up on anything these days), and smiling (as always), and Gabe is standing right behind her.  Gabe, looking guilty, walked immediately to me, scissors in hand and says "I did not cut Lauren's hair," and hands me the scissors.  I took the oustretched scissors, and literally had to walk back to the kitchen to compose myself, then back around to the hallway to confront Gabe. I think I saved the moment; I tried to play it off as "Mommy is putting these scissors up."  There have been a couple of moments in my life where I couldn't hold it and just burst out with laugher right in front of them, but this time I managed to get around the corner.  When I came back to the hall, I did my best acting job to issue a stern "We do NOT play with scissors unless our Mommy and Daddy are there to help us" warning, while choking down the laughter.

The laughter is not at the fact that he could have taken a crazy chunk out of Lauren's hair, or worse, manged to hurt himself or her with the scissors....but at what he said.  Gabe's at this age where he does that whole "I did not just eat some of that candy..." thing, which totally means he either: one, did eat the candy, or two, was about to.  He makes these little non-confessions a couple of times a week, and it CRACKS me up. 

For the record, I looked, and couldn't see any chunks taken out of Lauren's hair.  So either, he tried to cut it and was not successful, or was intending to cut it in the very near future, and I caught him just in time.  :)

We also had a moment this weekend where I was changing sheets on the bed, and the kids were on their own for a couple of minutes.  (An aside here...I promise you I do not leave my children unattended for large portions of time, it just takes them no time at all to find all kinds of fun things to get into.)  Gabriel is very well potty-trained at this stage of his life, and had actually gone in and taken care of business.  However, he did it without me knowing, and even when he was done, he did not come in and proudly announce it, like he usually does.  This is only a problem because of Lauren's current stage of life.  He uses his potty chair.  This potty chair is riiight within Lauren's 9 month old capability to reach.  I do not know what her fascination is with playing in the bathroom, but she sure does try to go in that room whenever the door is open.  So for now, we just keep the door completely closed.  Well, since Gabe had gone in there, and he doesn't know or remember to keep the door shut very well, and I didn't know he'd gone in there and opened the door and left it that way...and, well...you know where this is going.  So, I'm changing the sheets ......and I start to smell .... something.  I look down and there's Lauren, and I'm like "oh man Lauren, here let's go change your diaper."  I pick her up and realize it's not a diaper change she needs, but a scrub-down.  I did not realize this in time to save the shirt I was wearing, or Lauren's clothing.....but fortunately it wasn't much...and she apparently did not try to .... well....nevermind.  Let's just say that there were a couple of places I could have found stuff that would have made that moment a lot worse, so I'm thankful.

I hope that I am not the only mom who experiences things like this, both because I want to feel normal, and because it's little mishaps like this that add so much "flavor" to my everyday life.  Oh, Gabe and Lauren....thank you for keeping me on my toes, and for all of these wonderful moments.  Hopefully one day soon I will get the super-mom role "down", and maybe in the meantime, I'll manage to stay just one step ahead of you.  :)

Am I like Norman?

Ever have one of those moments where it's really felt as if God came down from Heaven....and put someone or something directly in your path....as if He wanted to directly and immediately answer a question you have.....or at the least, speak to thoughts circling in your brain at that point in your life?  Well, I think that has now happened to me a couple/few times.  I'll write about the first incident another time, but the second one happened so recently, and it's really still fresh in my mind, so I'm going to write about it now. 

In this particular instance, God delivered Himself to me in a little "Tessaira package."  I'd been in conversations with someone fairly close to me....about....well....influences in our lives, particularly friends.  I was speaking about how I thought it was important to, as much as we can, surround ourselves with people that are good influences on us.  And as a Christian...that additionally means to me that it's important to be friends with people who share my beliefs, who can encourage me spiritually/scripturally....and who can and will convict me...hold me accountable.  I'm not saying that I can not be friends with someone unless they're a Christian.  I have so many friends from various religions, backgrounds, sexual orientations...you name it.  And yet, as a Christian, I do see the importance of having relationships with other Christians.  My conversation that night with that person spiraled into more of a "well how do we know who the good influences are, what makes someone a good Christian anyway," type of conversation.  And after I spoke for a bit, this person, stated something to the effect that I was being pretty judgmental in some of the things I was saying.  And as I sat there wondering aloud to them on these topics....I began to see how what I was saying could be perceived as "judgment"...and possibly that what I was saying was indeed full of judgment.  Was I being judgmental? 

The following evening, still mulling over lingering thoughts from the recent conversation, I went about my evening routine.  We'd just gotten Gabriel down for bed, and we had Tessaira that night, so I asked her to pick out a book to read together while I got my jammies on.  She was gone for a few minutes, searching through her several shelves of books.....and then she came around the corner into our bedroom doorway, with a book in hand.  "This one," she stated, and handed me a copy of "Sidney and Norman - A Tale of Two Pigs" by Phil Vischer.  My breath caught in my throat for a second.  We'd read this book only once before....I bought it for her maybe a couple years ago, and we read it soon after that, and not since that.  But I remembered generally what the book was about, and prepared myself for a humbling experience.

Can you get an idea of what the book is about from the cover?  Sidney and Norman are neighbors...but other than the location of their homes, their lives are hardly similar.  Sidney struggles.  Norman has it together.  Sidney is disheveled and disorganized; Norman is organized and impeccable.  Norman and Sidney go about their daily lives, living so close together...and yet they hardly interact.  Maybe it's because they just really don't have all that much in common...maybe it's a little bit because Norman feels superior to Sidney...

Their lives change one day though, when they both receive a letter from God, and he invites each of them to come and meet with Him.  Norman goes, expecting praise for all that he has accomplished and for the organized and "together" way that he lives his life; Sidney goes expecting to hear that his life so far has actually been quite a disappointment to God.  And as it goes with God....neither pig walks away from their meeting feeling that their expectations had been met.  But isn't that how God works in all of our lives?  :)  I know for me, He rarely does things in the way or timing that I hope for or even expect, or things will be brought around to me in a different way than I expect to receive them.  Thank God for all of that.  And thank God that he delivered His message to me through Tessaira that night.

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So.  Where am I going with all of this?  I actually began this post in February 2011, it was one of the very first ones that I ever began for this blog.  It's now February 2012.  I've shelved it for so long because I still am not sure exactly how to process my swirling thoughts on all of it...but maybe someone who reads this will be able to share some of their own.  I guess the bottom line is...there may be a few times in my life that stand out as Norman-like moments...where perhaps I was being judgmental.  However....I have had plenty of Sidney moments too (where I was just completely faced with a horrible decision I'd made, or my totally sinful nature, or where I just did not have my crap together and was not doing the best that I could), and I just want the world to know that. 

Where is the line between "passing judgment" on someone and wanting to surround yourself with Christian friends?  (I think you should be able to choose whom you want to be friends with, without society feeling like you're looking down on someone....everyone has a set of criteria with which they choose who to decide to be friends with.)  How correct is society for believing that Christians are self-righteous and judgmental people like Norman?  As a Christian...how can I make sure I'm not being self-righteous and judgmental?  I can guarantee you, I do not feel "better than" other people.  I don't think that I'm "better than" anyone else...Lord knows I have plenty of faults, and do things the wrong way.  The Bible tells us that we've all sinned and fall short....yet how do Christians still come off this way?

This past Sunday at church, was Youth Sunday...always a sweet and uplifting service.  They recited a poem that I had never heard before, but that has apparently been around since 1988.  It was written by a woman named Carol Wimmer, and you can find her information here, as well as a link to the poem on her site:  http://carolwimmer.com/

And once again....God delivered himself to me...sent me a little message this weekend...this time through the youth at my church.  All of the ideas in this poem I believe are central to what I want the entire world to know and believe about Christians (especially with regard to the topics of judgment and self righteousness)...and what I want Christian people to live out in their everyday lives.  These thoughts are just so, so good.  And as it goes...Carol does a much better job of saying any of these than I ever could hope to...so here are her words: 

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
I’m whispering, “I get lost!
That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak with human pride
I’m confessing that I stumble -
needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong
I’m professing that I’m weak
and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success
I’m admitting that I’ve failed
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I don’t think I know it all
I submit to my confusion
asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible
but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache
which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian”
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority
I only know I’m loved

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer


My prayer is that the World will see that as Christians, we seek not to judge, but to show others the forgiveness, grace, comfort and love we've found in knowing Jesus; and, that as Christians, we will be true to this in our actions toward others.

Gabriel - 02/17/2012

Oh, Gabriel Curtis....you bring me joy.  I love you so much.  I love you more than any other parent could possibly love their child.....to the point that this love could just burst out of me.  It is frustratingly impossible to describe just how much love I have for you.  :)  This post is dedicated to you, because as your Mom, I treasure every single moment that I spend with you, and I know that along the way, a lot of these little moments may be lost, unless I take some time to remember some of them.  :) 

Here you are....I feel this picture kinda "says it all" about you right now, Gabe.  You were getting ready for bed as I snapped this, and we have this thing with leaving your shirt kinda on your head the way it is in the picture...and you say "look at my orange hair, Mommy!!"  You think it's just the funniest thing, and you do it almost every night.

Look at those eyelashes.  And the food on your face....there are not too many foods you won't eat...although, you are way more likely to eat vegetables and fruits than you are meat or bread.  I'd say your two favorite foods right now are pizza and pickled beets - I'll bet that's pizza sauce on your face in the picture.  :)    Then there's the marker on your elbow...oh how you LOVE to color and especially with markers.  In recent weeks, you have really impressed me with your coloring skills.  You frequently tell me "I did not scribble, mom!" and you really don't!  So often now I watch you coloring (or "colorling" as you so cutely say it) and you're so careful, and you're really able to stay in the lines so well for your age.  This picture just epitomizes "3 year old Gabe."   

Your sweet little expression just melts me.....you have that little half grin that one finds on your face quite often.  You're just mischevious enough to have fun, but still oh-so well behaved.  Your Sunday school teachers (Miss Nancy and Miss Julie) tell your Daddy and me all the time just how well you listen and obey, and so do all of your teachers at ABC.  That makes me so proud.  It will always be my goals to raise you to be a guy who loves Jesus above all, closely followed by your family....and for you to always be a polite, respectful, but FUN little guy.  :)

You have really gotten to an age where it is very fun to watch you play.  You like to climb, you like to play games, you love books, and you LOVE your Thomas trains that you got for your birthday and Christmas in 2011!

And...you love your sisters, both Tessaira and Lauren, so very much. 

Here are my memories, and few of my favorite Gabe-isms as of late:
~He LOVES beets.
~He loves trains: hearing them, seeing them, playing with them, etc.
~He absolutely ADORES both of his sisters.  He is always asking about Tessaira when she's not with us, and follows her every move when she is with us.  He is always entertaining Lauren and trying to make her laugh - he also calls her "Grin-cakes" just like Grandpa does.
~He calls coloring "colorling", he loves to do it, and for a three year-old seems very good at it to me.  He does a great job of being as careful as he can and staying in the lines.
~He is very perceptive....sometimes to the point where he's able to call people out on things.  Funny story...the other day we were playing at Grandpa and Grandma's house (my parents' house).  And he LOVES his Grandparents....and loves the time he spends with them.  Well Grandpa was sitting in a chair near where Gabe was playing, watching Gabe.  Gabe excitedly asked Grandpa to "come and play with me!" to which Grandpa replied "Oh I am playin' with ya buddy!!"  And Gabe said....."no  you're just sitting there..." in his little three year old way.  It busted us all up.  :)
~His favorite CD at the moment is a little Veggie Tales bedtime CD (that we listen to frequently at all times of the day, especially in the car) where Junior Asparagus sings songs like "Twinkle Little Star" and "Bushel and a Peck".
~One of his favorite times of day is each evening, as we go through our tuck-in routine.  We read (favorite books right now are "Goodnight Moon", "Goodnight Gorilla", "Tanka Skunk", and his little picture Bible-especially the stories of David and Foliah (Goliath), and baby Moses), and then we pray.  And we always say "Now I lay me down to sleep..." but it's when that prayer is over that he gets in his element.  We also pray to God for what we're thankful for....usual items for him are his bunk beds :) and his family.  And then we pray for our petitions...our concerns....and he LOVES mentioning people to remember and pray for.  His Papa (Shawn's dad) is dealing with some health issues right now, and he always asks to pray for him.  Tessaira's mother lost her job and was on a search for a new one, and once Gabe learned about that he was always wanting to pray for Arin about that too.  Just a couple more examples.  :) 
~He is just so sweet, especially for a little boy.  I'm not saying that I think little boys do not care about anything, but he just really knows how to love on people, and shows so much love for all his family, especially his sisters.  And he is usually very obedient and eager to please his parents.
~His favorite places to go right now are anywhere with "equickment" to play on (so Pizza Hut, McDonald's, etc.)  :)  He also enjoys going to the mall and shopping and playing on the equipment there.  And Topeka recently added a "Going Bonkers" which he LOVES running around and playing at.

I will close this post just by letting Gabe know how incredibly special he really is, and that it is our prayer that he continue to grow up to just have a deep love of God and of all the people in his life....and that he'll keep making us laugh.  The next story  is one small example of the laughter he brings.....and all I can say is, please keep it coming, bubby!!!

A few weeks ago, I was sitting on the floor in the living room, watching Gabe play.  At that moment, he had his little "play" Nativity set out.  Yes it was January, but this is one that we keep in their toy drawer year-round for them to play with.  And, it's a pretty involved set, it has several angels and animals and haybales, in addition to the traditional people characters.  He'd been acting out little scenarios with various players, and I'd been overhearing little snippets of his conversations, but for some reason he'd gotten animated enough that I really zoned in on what he was saying and doing at that moment....and he had Mary in his right hand, and a little donkey in his left.  And he was adamantly waving Mary around as she said to the donkey "NO NO!!!  We don't poop on baby Jesus!  We gotta take care of him!!"

Hahahaha.  :) 

Well said, Gabe.....well said.  :)