Our First Evans Family Camping Trip

This weekend, I discovered that there is no joy like that of a family camping trip.

Yes, the Evans family ventured to Clinton Lake in Lawrence, KS for a couple of nights this past weekend.  But, as any seasoned camper knows.....so much time, effort, and planning goes in to getting ready for those few evenings away, especially for a family with small children on their rookie camping outing!  As I spent the weeks leading up to our trip pouring over suggested packing lists, perusing possible campfire recipes, polling camp-savvy friends for their best advice....and then doing my best to figure out with Shawn which of those morsels applied to our family, and this trip, and how to simplify things so we could fit it all into one vehicle.....I wondered how the trip would go.  Would my children be bored at all?  Would it all actually be so overwhelming that I'd end up stressed, and thus the trip would perhaps not be very enjoyable for any of us?  (I mean ... wow.  Never before have I packed SO many items for a two-night excursion!)  How would the kids do sleeping in the great outdoors - would any of us actually get to sleep?!  Would I hear a whined request for some technological device (TV, smart phone, tablet or otherwise) approximately once every 7.2 minutes?  I wondered, but I did not worry about it.  I reflected on my limited amount of personal camping experiences over the years (fond memories!), and the beauty that is nature...and then my thoughts shifted to last week where I watched my children be perfectly content to play for an hour on simply an enormous pile of dirt.....and I figuratively placed my bet on the belief that this was going to be a fun weekend.  What I was not prepared for, was just how fun it was going to be.

We kicked into high gear in the days leading up to our departure:  I made homemade cookies and potato salad...chopped some fruits and veggies and stored everything in disposable plastic containers, made multi-categorical packing lists, and spent a lot of time gathering items and packing.  Shawn took care of a lot of the supply purchasing, and thinking through the technical aspects of the trip.  The fact that the entire family spent so much time working together to plan for this little trip was the first thing that set it apart for me....and I loved every moment leading up to departure.

I took off work early on Thursday, August 7th, picked up the kids, and got the final items gathered.  Shawn started loading the Highlander while I finished up the last of the cooking and food prep (which never quite goes as quickly as I hope it will).  By the time we were ready to roll out, the vehicle had sat on the driveway longer than we'd planned....and the battery had gone dead!  Fortunately a quick charge to the battery was all that was needed, and we laughed as we finally departed, in a vehicle that had literally zero extra space.  :)

The drive to Clinton Lake is a relatively short one, and we were there in no-time.  We stayed at the Hickory Campsite, #131.  We unloaded, snapped a quick pic of the littles at the site, and then proceeded to unload, and set up our brand new tent!

Shortly thereafter, our friends the Schumachers arrived, and we all set up camp, and then spent the evening making a fire, having dinner, and just hanging out!  I have known Amy for over 20 years!  She was a youth sponsor when I was in youth group, and now we sing together on the worship team at church, and have kids that are close in age.  We've talked for a couple years now about camping together....and we finally made that happen!

Schumacher and Evans kiddos...gathered around the campfire!

We love this family, and had SUCH a relaxing evening.  There is something magical about being surrounded by nature, with not a thing to do but let your kids run around and play while you watch the fire and swap stories.  It was relaxing....fun....even magical.  

We awoke the next morning (yes, the kids did so well sleeping in the tent, and we actually did sleep!  Well, some of us more than others....Shawn and Anthony chatted by the campfire until almost 4 in the morning).....we ate breakfast (opting for the simple option of a pop tart from home), and then headed out on the day's adventures.

The kids played for a while with scooters...we played some Uno....and Grace even helped Gabe make his very own bow and arrow out of materials they gathered.... :)

We took a walk down to the shore of the lake.  Lauren enjoyed wading in the edge of the lake (until she fell and plopped her little behind right down in the water) but she quickly got over that and enjoyed the mud in her toes....

Meanwhile, Shawn helped Gabe with some fishing from the lakeshore!

Lo and I also shared a really beautiful moment as we walked along the shore that morning.  During one of the seconds that I had the camera on her, snapping photos, a Monarch butterfly flitted into the frame, and landed on a leaf.  It has been forever since I've seen a Monarch, and I was so excited!  It was breath-taking.  We followed it up the shore a bit more, and I snapped a few more photos...

The Schumachers have a canoe, and we brought it down with us to the lake that morning!  Amy and I took Lo for a ride - she was NOT happy about it at first, but by about 5 minutes into the ride, she said "Oh this is better!" and seemed to enjoy herself!  Gabe enjoyed the ride too, and we let him help paddle a bit at the end....

Next stop was the swimming beach!  I've swam in a few lakes in my lifetime, but Clinton Lake's swimming beach area may be the nicest yet!  The kids had a blast here!

We then finally headed back in for some lunch, and wrapped up the day with some badminton, a nature scavenger hunt, a bit of "Catchphrase" while dinner cooked in the campfire coals (or rather, "got torched in the campfire coals" as I let ours do) and then more campfire time.  There were also some sweet moments of Sam and Lo playing together.  They are just a few months apart in age, and they adore each other!  At one point in the day, they had dragged their little lawn chairs side by side under a shade tree....and I could have mistaken them for a sweet, old, married couple later in life....sitting side by side.  :)

We slept one more night in the tent - Gabe and Lo decided to use their air mattress as a pillow..... :)

The next morning was Saturday, and our final day at the lake.  It just so happened that Clinton Lake was hosting some fun and free events for kids on this Saturday, so we got to end our camping experience with a bang!  Shawn took Gabe to a fishing derby that morning.  Gabe did not catch any fish, but he won a VERY nice fishing pole, and scored a goodie bag with a t-shirt, a tackle box, and other prizes.  I packed everything up while they fished, and then when they returned, we broke camp, and loaded the Highlander.

Our final hoorah was getting to participate in an archery demonstration!  Gabe loves the idea of a bow and arrow, and he got to shoot a real bow, and was able to be instructed in the very beginnings of how to shoot.  He got to take three turns through the target practice, and he was on cloud nine!!  He would probably tell you that this was the highlight of the trip for him.  :)

Looking through these photos and journaling about the weekend brings the wonderful feelings RIGHT back.  I'm so thankful for technology that allows me to memorialize what will forever be in my heart and soul as one of the best weekends of my life!  I can't put it into words.....but there were so many things that made this trip amazing:  the kids were amazingly well behaved, we got to experience so many fun activities together as a family, we got to spend time with some great friends, we tried something new, we were surrounded by the beauty of nature....and the list could go on and on.  But what I'm most thankful for was the precious, relaxed time together.

I know we all can't wait until our next excursion.  Next time we will hopefully get to have our T-Bear with us too - we were sad to not have her there to share in the adventure.  Gabe has already asked if we can just put up the tent in the backyard this week.  I think his quote from the trip says it best:  "Mom.....now I know about camping....and I know I love it."

Thank you God for my wonderful family, and our wonderful time together!!!

My Parenting Revelation

I'm working on several things for 2014.  Perhaps it's cliche, but really the beginning of a new year is the perfect time to wipe the slate clean, and try and make some changes.  One of the broad ideas that really encompasses many of my more specific, smaller goals, is the idea of using my time wisely and intentionally.  You know...more time being productive, and less time farting around on my phone playing a dumb game, where before I know it 45 minutes have been frittered away.  I've aimed to spend more time working on family projects, planning dinners, exercising, and less waste.  And....definitely I want to spend more intentional time with God instead of time just spent with Him when I can happen to find room in my busy schedule, or when I frantically turn to him for an "immediate need" or concern.

I found a website called Crosswalk.com, and got myself signed up to receive daily e-mails of devotional readings.  I was intentionally looking for some way to make exactly this scenario happen, and was excited that it was so easy to do!  One of the first things I do each morning is to check my e-mail while I lie in bed.  So now I receive an e-mail each morning from Crosswalk; and, each morning, there is a little immediate reminder to spend some time with God at the very beginning of my day.  So far, I can truly and honestly say that I have spent intentional time with God each and every morning of 2014.  The e-mails have ranged in topic, and length...but each one has spurred me into reflective thought...and most crucially, some dialogue with God, and prayer to start my day.  So all of that is good.  All of that is building in time with God, and developing our relationship - which is the ultimate goal with spending more time with Him.  So with each of these little devotional times bringing me a step closer to God...they're all serving a good purpose...but man....today's really hit home on a topic that I have become really convicted on.  That is so encouraging to me...when it seems to happen that God puts a person or reading or reminder somewhere in your life at a crucial moment.  It was an "A-ha!" moment...an epiphany.....and a good kick in the be-hind.

I'll quote one of the most notable passages from today's devotional:
"At times we're quick-tempered and impatient and find it hard to live in harmony with others.  We may have trouble letting go of attitudes of habits that hurt those around us-and occasionally we don't even want to.  God knows our true character and has provided the Holy Spirit to transform us into Jesus' likeness.  The Spirit opens our minds to understand and apply Scripture.  He gives us the power to say no to ungodliness and to replace me-centered thinking with a Christ-centered viewpoint.  He patiently produces His fruit in us, which includes love, joy and peace (Gal. 5:22-23).  With His help, we can become peacemakers who work to bring about reconciliation between God and others (Matt. 5:9)."

Boom.  Here's kind of how this part of the reading played out in my head as I was reading it.  The bold parts in between the sentences were my own thoughts this morning:
"At times we're quick-tempered and impatient and find it hard to live in harmony with others.  (At times?  Yeah...try "a majority of the time..."....oh gosh.....I'm thinking of how I am with the kids....and this definitely applies there...it may apply there more than with anyone else in my life.  I still don't understand why I show the people I love the most in my life, the LEAST amount of patience.)  We may have trouble letting go of attitudes of habits that hurt those around us-and occasionally we don't even want to.  (Pause....pause..................oh gosh that...yeah that could definitely be me.....are there things that I'm doing, that I know are wrong that I'm still intentionally doing?  I do know of one...yes I totally know of a few.  I think I'm harder on T sometimes, and I am usually aware of it....is it falling into that "don't even want to let go of it" category??!  I can be hard on all the kiddos when things aren't going how I think they should....  *sad face*)  God knows our true character (yeowch) and has provided the Holy Spirit to transform us into Jesus' likeness.  (Praise God!)  The Spirit opens our minds to understand and apply Scripture.  (That is...if you're making time to read Scripture.  Note to self...I have GOT to read more scripture. *sad face*)  He gives us the power to say no to ungodliness and to replace me-centered thinking with a Christ-centered viewpoint.  (Okay ... MASSIVE lights flashing, bells ringing...sirens going off.....this is it...it's the key.  When it comes to my parenting....I have to aim for Christ-likeness, I really need to be thinking what would Jesus do, not what would I do.  Why have I not put this together before??  It's always less of me, more of Christ...but I don't think I've honestly been thinking that way with regard to parenting?)  He patiently (um THANK God)  produces His fruit in us, which includes love, joy and peace (Gal. 5:22-23).  With His help, we can become peacemakers who work to bring about reconciliation between God and others (Matt. 5:9)."

One would think...that someone who loves God, and understands the idea of being Jesus to the world...and strives for it (and fails at doing it, but continues to strive for it)......you'd think that this person would also be striving for the same when it comes to parenting their children.  But honestly....I don't know that I have been.  I truly WANT to encourage them to be thoughtful, patient, loving and hard-working.  I want them to see others the way that Christ would, and to behave as Christ would.....but really I'm not modeling it myself.  For example....I don't think that Jesus would have raised his voice at a child in frustration (because He felt seriously inconvenienced) because said child spilled something on accident....or couldn't get their arm through the sleeve of their coat because it was turned inside out.  Or because this child may have gotten out of bed one more time for one more kiss instead of remaining in bed as they'd been instructed to do.  Of course I'm not saying that my children will never do things that warrant discipline...but I personally feel that I really have been walking on the side of being too hard on them, and not encouraging enough.  I think I've been more concerned with making sure they get done what they need to, in the quickest way possible and making sure they know about it when it wasn't done in the way I felt best.

As I re-read the last paragraph....I don't know that it is making complete sense.  I obviously haven't made sense of it all yet.  I think I'm still a bit lost on where I'm at with my parenting, but think that I need to make steps toward "more patient", "more forgiving", and "more loving".  I know I will continue to seek out God's answers for how to be the parent He wants me to be for these kids that I love so much.  I'd appreciate your prayer over it too!!  :)  And, I'll welcome any thoughts you'd like to share about any of your personal experiences.

~Mel

Be Still - A meditation

Read:  Psalm 46 (with focus on verse 10)
One recent Sunday evening, I pulled into our driveway after attending a study and turned my vehicle off.  The dashboard lights darkened, the engine and radio noise ceased….and I sat...alone… in the roar of deafening silence.  Usually, I would have been discussing “once we get inside” plans with kids, or having to referee a spirited discussion.  But in that moment, life was breathtakingly still.  
I can recall these moments of stillness because they are rare.  “Still” is defined:  1. devoid from motion, 2. calm, tranquil, and 3. free from noise or turbulence.  Boy.  In a busy family of five, let’s just say that we would not frequently use descriptors like “tranquil” and “free from noise or turbulence” for the atmosphere of our home.  It’s happy noise – frequently laughter-filled; and, we have the usual family bustle of commitments and activities.  What we honestly do not have a lot of, is stillness.  Even once the kids are in bed, our evenings can end up largely filled with television, and social media.  There is always something new to see, or something to share.  The world would have you believe that you need that constant social hum; but, God says otherwise.  
Psalm 46 explains that God Himself says to “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Be still.  God put those words in this passage with purpose, and I know that I need to seek this out in my life.  The psalmist describes this even in the midst of the Earth giving way, and mountains fallinginto the heart of the sea.  Surely I can muster a few moments of stillness among my own activities, and my own toppling mountains of laundry scattered on my living room floor!  
Prayer:  Father God, we love You, and see You throughout each moment of our lives, from the loud and joyful, to those of anger and heartbreak.  I pray though, that You would increase in us the desire to seek stillness, our desire to wait on You, and our desire to know You more.  I pray that you would use these quiet moments to drown out the world, and draw us closer to You.  Amen!

In My Daughter's Eyes

How often do I hear something without really listening to it?  Probably all the time.  I know I've certainly heard "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride before...I can at least hum along with the chorus...but apparently I had never really listened to it.  That is...until just now.  I was literally just blindsided by one of the most tender moments in my life thus far.  Blindsided so much so, that I came straight downstairs to jot down my thoughts.

I should back up though....set the scene.  It'd been a nice evening.  We had a great dinner...some homemade taco salad with all the trimmings including homemade guacamole!  My parents were here for dinner.  We had some after dinner "tearing up and down the hallways" rough-housing...followed by a nice little walk around the neighborhood, pulling the kids in the wagon.  My parents left....and then it was normal bed-time routines:  bath, jammies....a treat....teeth brushing....all followed by a few minutes of snuggling on the couch with both kids on my lap.  Gabe told me "I wish I could just fall asleep right here, mom...right here on your lap."  That was a sweet moment in itself. 

I scooted them off my lap, and Shawn took them down the hall and got them in bed first....I followed a couple of minutes behind, after lights were out, and they were tucked in.  I entered Lo's room first.....went over and knelt down beside her bed...and I prayed, like I always do.  And as I finished with the "Amen"...my ears tuned in to the music softly playing in the background....just as Lauren reached her little hand up and traced the side of my face with her little two-year old fingers.

I heard.....

"........I've seen the light,
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,
I can see the future,
A reflection of who I am and what will be,
And though she'll grow and someday leave,
Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone I hope you see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there,
In my daughter's eyes."

And I knelt there....breathless....soaking in those words....and gazing in to her little brown eyes....as she played with the side of my face...and I just dissolved into tears...and a love so intense that it can not be described.  I am so THANKFUL for my kids.  I will tell you right now that it is not possible to love them more than I do right now, and yet tomorrow, I know I will.

A single moment like this can just define a life...it can make everything so crystal clear...put it all into perspective.  We are gifts to each other...me to her...and her to me.  I sat there in that moment and I prayed that when people see the reflection of who I am in her eyes...that it will be that of someone who loves God and has done everything she possibly could for her children.  And I hope I can show my children every day just how happy they have made me.  I could never have enough time with them...thank you God for each day more that I have with them!!!  And....thank you God for tender moments like this evening's.....thank you tonight for my little Lo.

If you're a mom and you have not heard this song...I encourage you to go listen...and I've included the full lyrics below.  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlA

Martina McBride - In My Daughter's Eyes Lyrics

Writer(s):SLATER, JAMES T.

Artist: Martina McBride Lyrics
In my daughter's eyes,
I am a hero,
I am strong and wise,
And I know no fear,
But the truth is plain to see,
She was sent to rescue me,
I see who I want to be,
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,
Everyone is equal,
Darkness turns to light,
And the world is at peace,
This miracle god gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak,
I find reason to believe,
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,
How it puts a smile in my heart,
Everything becomes a little clearer,
I realize what life is all about,
It's hanging on when your heart is had enough,
It's giving more when you feel like giving up,
I've seen the light,
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,
I can see the future,
A reflection of who I am and what will be,
And though she'll grow and someday leave,
Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone I hope you see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there,
In my daughter's eyes



 

Motherly Love

She's Millie.  Native Kansan....a daugther to Reed and Ruth.  Sister to Cliff and Marty....and little Mikey Reed.  (Aunt Marty, I'm still sorry she made you ride that bicycle home after you'd broken your leg on that one outing.....)  She's my mom.  My kids' grandma.  Lover of scrapbooking....and cooking...and crafts....and gardening.  Lover of Dexter the Dachsund (much to my dad's chagrin).  Wife of Max.

  

She's been my teacher and nurturer from day one....my biggest fan.  She taught me about Jesus.  She instilled the fear of God in me.  She taught me what love is.  (Sometimes by demonstrating her enormous love for me in amazing ways....and other times by forcing my sisters and I to "sit and hug each other" on the couch when we weren't getting along - love conquers all.  I use this "punishment" to this day with my own kiddos.)  She taught me to eat my vegetables - I had brussel sprouts with my lunch today, Mom!  She taught me about obedience.  She showed me how to love a husband - that it's a good thing to kiss him like Davd and Renee did on "Days of our Lives".  :)

She taught me how to "Walk Like an Egyptian".  (It's true.  We have it on video if you'd like to see it.)  She taught me about saving things.....and that you can always find a way to reuse something.  This Erma Bombeck quotation is oh-so appropriate for her:  "Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box as found its way back into society.  We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."  Maybe not tooootally true....but perhaps close to the truth??!  She taught me that moms really do somehow have eyes in the backs of their heads (still don't know how she saw me making snotty faces at her all the way through the front door and living room of our old house while she was still out in the front garden.....AND, I still don't know how she moved so quickly to come flyin' through that front door to let my bottom know that she had seen them.)  She was firm.  But she was so loving.

She's taught me how to share.  She's shown me true selflessness.  She's modeled true patience (which I still can't model myself, despite my best efforts).  The fact of the matter is, I could go on all day....listing all the things my mom has taught me.....because, she's still teaching me.  She's still modeling them for us all to see.  She is amazing.

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie." ~ Tenneva Jordan

THIS is my mom.  I mean....selfless.  Either this attribute or her patience....those are my favorite things about her.  Looking back, her life since kids really was one big family-loving/errand-running/home-making/hard-working/girlscout-leading/dance class-shuffling/program-attending (you get the idea) marathon!  AND, it still is.  She still comes to our softball games.  She goes to Shawn's softball games.  She comes to my scrapbooking day at church, Meesh's work events, and Megan's half marathon.  She's still there, giving 100% of herself to us.  We are so lucky to have her; and, we don't tell her this often enough. 

And now, we throw Grandkids in the mix and she's there for every single one of their special moments!  I rave about her motherhood....yet her "grandmahood" is on a completely different level.  My children are so lucky to have a grandma that is nearby....and not only nearby, but present.  She's involved.  She's on their level.  She's interested.  She celebrates them.  She loves them.  And they love her.   

Mom.....today, on your birthday.....I celebrate you.  I cherish you.  Know that I am so thankful for each and everything that you've done for me, and everyone whose life you touch.  As a mother, it is my personal goal to try and accomplish even just parts of what all you have as my mom.  The examples you've provided, and the selfless time you've given me have meant, and always will mean so much to me. 

Most of all, Mom....thanks for the prayers.  I can't imagine where I'd be without them. I LOVE YOU!!!

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been." ~Robert Brault

Step by Step

These days, I step on the scale each morning to track weight loss progress.  This morning, as I stepped on, my mind stepped back in time.....first to January of 2012 when I "officially" decided to get back on the weight loss kick....but then past that....farther back....back to the end of 2009.....back when I was at my "worst".  Back to when I weighed 266 pounds.  Back to this Mel:

I glanced back down at this morning's number.....205.1....which means I'm almost to 32 pounds lost since January of 2012, but almost 62 pounds lost since I was at my heaviest.  And then I glanced in the mirror (you really have to do that when on the scale in our basement, because we have a rockin' 80's-style bathroom with mirrored closet doors there)....and..........I smiled.  I smiled at the beautiful woman God created me to be....the one who still has so far to go....but the one who has also worked at it, and come a long way already.  I'll be doin' a major happy dance the first day I get back under that 200 mark!  My goal weight is somewhere around 150....so I'm still looking to kiss 50 pounds goodbye and send them on their way.

This is me today: 

Okay, technically that was me on October 6th, but close enough.  :)  It makes me really happy to look at that picture.

So....why share all of this with anyone?  I have lots of reasons, but mostly, I share because I have been inspired and encouraged by SO many people along my path, and I want my life to do the same - even if for only one other person in one small way.  I think life should be all about encouraging everyone that you cross paths with, building people up, setting good examples, and using your time like the valuable commodity that it is.  Taking that a step further, I believe these things  because I believe it is what Jesus did, and would have each of us do - we read in 1 Thessalonians 5:11:  "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."  I want to be an encouragement, and I think the way to do that with regard to my weight struggle, is to be transparent about everything that I've been through, and what has worked to help me through the tougher parts of the journey.

Looking back to December of 2009.....it's hard to believe I was ever that big.  I certainly didn't feel that big....and I've never really felt "ugly".  In some ways I almost wish that I had felt more ugly, because it maybe would have spurred me on to healthier habits earlier than I was.  Mostly though, I have identified my beauty and worth far more with the ideas that I was created in God's image, and that your true beauty is more about who you are than what you look like.  As it says in 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."  Eventually though, it became glaringly apparent that I could not continue down the path I was on, no matter how much worth I still felt God placed in me.  :)

The weight gain was a gradual process, kick-started by my pregnancy with Gabriel.  But it was actually after giving birth that it really began.  Life was hectic, I was a new mom, also working outside of the home.  I ate out too often.  And there's a double-whammy there because most of the time restaurant food is not as good for you, and they serve it in portions that are too large.  I exercised too little.  I didn't notice it happening at first, but by Gabe's first birthday.......I noticed.....and I had decided to do something about it.  Let me say this....when you're 266 pounds, exercise is not easy.  I could do very little to exercise.  So, I started a food diary at myfooddiary.com, and I monitored what I ate.  I went from 266 down to about 236 with ONLY monitoring my food intake and not doing too much more than occasional walks and things like gardening, etc. as my exercise.  The food diary is great because it tracks more than calories, and you really get a clear picture of just how much fat, salt, etc. that you are eating as well.  I was happy with my progress.  My goal at that time was to lose more weight, a significant amount, before trying to become pregnant again.....but in late summer of 2010, I became pregnant with our little Lo!  I remember feeling devastated at the news because of what I thought it meant for my weightloss and health goals.  When you're on a roll though.....it's easy to stay on it if you can make up your mind to, and that's what I did.  I was determined to gain as little weight as possible during the pregnancy - and I DID it!  I weighed myself the day that I came home from the hospital after giving birth to Lo, and what did I see, but 236 pounds.  I managed to end up right where I had begun the pregnancy.  This was SO encouraging to me and last fall I vowed to try and keep the weightloss momentum going.  I maintained my weight all last fall, but was not really losing much, so I made a decision in January of 2012 that I was going to get serious about it.  And since January, I've now gone from 236 to 205 (almost 204!). :)

Here comes the encouragement part.  ;)  These are all things that I've learned, and that have worked for me.  If you're trying to lose weight I hope you will read these thoughts and take them and adapt them for what will work for you, because that's what I did....I took what I saw others doing and applied it to me, and my available time, and my food desires and diet needs, etc.  Also, probably none of these ideas are "new", some of them are even in the "well duh of course" category......but I know that you can hear something 5 times, or 20 times, and for some reason on that last time is when it hits you in the way that it needs to hit you to give you the jump start that you need.  So I'm sharing them now:

1.  Set small goals, and meeting these will get you closer to your large goal step-by-step.  Sometimes my goals are VERY small....like this morning, I told myself I was eating the food I had here at the office and not going out to lunch.  Small goal...and I accomplished it.  Last night my goal was to run 4 miles, and I did it.  But within that run, I had even smaller goals, such as:  "I'm going to keep running until I reach that next white mailbox."  My small goals a year ago were to even make it out the door to exercise....or to make it even half of my exercise time with actual running.  Make a goal each day, and accomplish it!!  This small goal mentality is one of the biggest reasons I continue to make strides toward my overall weight and health goals.

2.  Pray.  My prayers keep me focused on the things I'm thankful for, and the things I need to work on.  Both of those ideas are huge throughout this weightloss journey, so focusing on them in this way keeps me driven and motivated....and thankful for progress!

3.  Allow freedom.  There is no way that one can adhere to strict diet and exercise goals 24/7 - at least I sure can't!  This weightloss process has maybe been slower for me than it could have been.  But, for me, slow and steady is better than completely derailing and abandoning my goals because I can't stick to them 24/7.  I know I have gone weeks at a time where I maintained weight or only lost a pound over several weeks because I allowed myself more freedom for a vacation, etc.  Totally worth the motivation to stick to overall goals! 

4.  Eat at home when you can/bring food from home when you can.  You will most likely eat things that are better for you, and you will eat less than if you go out.

5.  If you eat out, go to the restaurant's website ahead of time and try and make your decision based on nutritional value.  Almost all restaurants have this information readily available on their websites, and a lot of times the information is mind-blowing - you would not believe how many calories are in some of your favorite restaurant dishes.   

6.  Shop as much as you can from the perimeter of the grocery store.  The foods there are the less processed ones, and are better for you. 

7.  Exercise.  Try and do at least a little activity every day - even if it's just raking leaves for 20 minutes or going for a 20 minute walk.  I find that doing a little activity helps me to want to eat better/less (because I don't want to ruin the effort I put in to whatever activity I've done).  And then when I make good decisions about exercise on one day, it tends to snowball into many days' worth of good activity decisions.  :)

8.  Bulk up your meals with vegetables.  This is decidedly easier for those of us that enjoy vegetables, but worth a try for anyone.  :)  Frequently for lunch at work, I eat a bowl of soup, or a frozen dinner, or leftover casserole from home, etc.  And to bulk up the amount of food I'm eating without bulking up too much on the calories, I add frozen veggies.  I keep bags of frozen veggies handy, and add a half cup to a cup to almost all of my meals - sometimes on the side, or sometimes mixed in (peas mixed in with lasagna....mixed veggies in my soup, etc.)  It really helps fill me up, while adding maybe 50 or less calores. 

That's all I can think of right now for my little list.  All of these thoughts have become really ingrained, and just a part of the normal way I process decisions about grocery shopping, making meals, what foods I'm trying to have my kids eat, choices I make when dining out, and the how/when/where/why of my exercise routines.  Succinctly stated.....I've accomplished a shift in my lifestyle.  If I had a number nine, that's what it'd be:  9.  It's a change in lifestyle (not a diet)!

Finally, I hear and learn more each week about the direct correlations between diet, exercise, and obesity and a range of health issues.  This range of issues includes everything from diabetes to cancer.  The healthcare industry has turned into such a HUGE industry....I know there are at least millions of dollars being spent producing and paying for all kinds of medications for all kinds of things that could be controlled with our diet.  With the healthcare crisis that is going on in our country, I can't help but want to plead the case for good eating, and good amounts of exercise to each and every person.  So much can be taken care of, avoided, or made better with proper diet and exercise.  I feel so strongly about that, and I'm doing my best to keep myself and my family in better health for the future.  I'm slowly working my way there, keeping myself on track by focusing on one decision at a time, and letting the positive progress that I see and feel keep me motivated!!  We can all do the same.  :)

Oh, and if you want to get together for a run/walk/jog....shoot me a message.  I love company for these sorts of things.  :)

Shawn

Confucius is attributed as saying, "A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."  This is Shawn.  Through everything I've heard about him growing up, and in all the ways that I get to watch and interact with him now....this is Shawn.  He's not the guy commanding the attention of the entire room with his flowery speech.  He's the one who quietly goes about doing what he knows he has to, and what he wants to, and the one who'll do it every time. 

He is the son, the brother - the little guy who grew up in the 70's and 80's who possibly spent some time terrorizing his older sister and spent a vast majority of his time playing with Star Wars toys and GI Joes. 

He's a musician.  Yeah, we'll stretch it and call him that even though he's mainly just a percussionist - he can also get by on a piano and guitar,and have you ever heard him sing?!  He's a soldier.  He's a video and computer game playin' guy who loves his Chiefs and KU.  And he's good at these things.  He's talented.  He's smart (I mean, aside from picking the Chiefs as his team).  He's fun to hang out with - we love our poker nights, our game nights.  And he's there with his often quiet personality to interject his bits of humor and wit at the right times.  I think he's so funny.

And these days, he's my husband ... a great man ... a great father.  And, it's here where I'll focus my attention, because these are the areas in which I believe he really, really shines, and where I see him on a daily basis.

I love our story - Shawn's and mine.  We've been friends for many years now, as we met when we were both in school at Washburn University.  I know there was a time way back then when I would have dated him, and possibly wanted to - perhaps there was a time way back then when he felt the same about me.  But as life goes...it's all about timing.  So back then, it was about the friendship - well, and let's face it, it was also about the studying....the band trips and game nights....marching band, even some choir.    Then there was even a time several months after I graduated college where we had some conversations and even one date.  I consider it our first, even though it was an isolated incident.  It involved dinner and then watching a movie together - a version of Rocky Horror Picture Show put on by a bunch of our friends at Washburn.  I also would like to note for the record that I wasn't even lucky enough to get a small little kiss on this date.  :)  And then in the months after that it definitely went back to just the friendship level.  And then in the months after that....I got invited to a wedding....Shawn's.  I went to his wedding.  The thought of this still blows my mind....:)  And then sadly after that, Shawn went through some tough, tough times, with a divorce, and fighting for Tessaira, and dealing with custody issues.  I hope that he never has to go through anything so tough again.  And yet, through all of this, I truly believe that God was aligning our lives, and our hearts, and working in both of us.....working out the timing in His perfect way, in the way that only He can.  I firmly believe that through the years of our friendship, and through all of the events that took place....that this was the only way we'd end up who we were supposed to be, and when we were supposed to be it, and where we were supposed to be......and what led us to each other and our marriage.

Fast forward to 2005...late spring...early summer....I'm not sure when we officially started the dating process, but the important thing is, it was begun at some point around there.  ;)  Things progressed fairly quickly from there.  I was in love with the man he'd become.  I always enjoyed him in college - he was an attractive guy - funny, cool, talented.  But there was another level to him now.  He was a father.  And to just be witness to the way he fought for Tessaira, the level of dedication he showed to this life role...and especially to just see them together - it was heart-melting.  It showed a side of Shawn to me that I had not known before now, and it honestly is one of the big reasons why I fell in love with him.  As our months together progressed, and we spent more time together, it also became very apparent how important family was in general to him.  We visited his family frequently, and he was very interested in hanging out with mine; my family had always been very close and this was right up my alley.  Combine all of his prior good qualities with these new ones I was seeing....and add to that a bunch of common interests, and the fact that we had a lot of things in common and had a great time together..........

We were engaged by Fall of 2005....married by June 10, 2006!! 

We've had a great marriage - by no means perfect, as a marriage is between two people who are far from perfect themselves.  :)  I'm so thankful to have him as my life partner - in so many ways he completes me and balances me.  He's the calm to my intense, and the "go-with-the-flow" to my "planniness".  He works hard to provide for us - he has done so much to keep furthering his military career, always trying to work at promotions, and additional training.  And yet, he recognizes the value of being home, and with us....and he's there.  I love him for him, all of what he does for us, and the way he makes me feel.  And, I really love him for the father that he is to our kids.

Just look at those pictures.  He's right there; he's encouraging.  He's hands on...he's proud...he supports them.  He's a lot of what my dad was to me, and what I've prayed for, for my children.  Most important to me though, is that he loves God in his own quiet way, he treats people as such....he lives his life as such....and he will be a constant example of this for them.  They're so lucky to have him there as one of their biggest fans, and I'm going to make sure they spend their lives knowing it.

Shawn, today on your birthday...I celebrate all of these things about you that I have mentioned, and the plenty more that I have not.  Not a day goes by that I don't just fall down in front of God (sometimes literally, and sometimes figuratively), thanking Him for you.  I just want you to know how much you're loved, and how much you mean to all of us, especially your family. 

Happy birthday, babe!  (Man, you're getting old.)  :)